Questions to ponder

And the winner goes too.... 

The Copy of the book: goes too... Eva D! I have your address so I will send it off in the next few days. Thanks for liking the FB page. Thanks to those who liked and shared the link. It was greatly appreciated. 

There were very few people who participated in the give away. Which is sad because I think it is not only an awesome giveaway but a great kindness workbook. 

To be honest, it has me really pondering what should become of 365days of Kindness. I would be keen for some input from those who actually read this blog (if there are any of you out there?) 

What should this blog look like? 

What would you like to see here? 

Would you like more created content? 

Would you like more interviews with people? 

Would you like more experiences of kindness from others? Or me? 

Would you like to see more of a particular type of kindness? 

Where should we go from here? 

Would you like more videos? 

Would you like more YouTube clips from other Kindness groups?

Would you like a podcast? 

Would you like to see an Instagram account? 

Would you like less? 

These aren’t easy questions for me. For a girl who has been doing a kind deed a day for years now I really want to inspire people to be kinder. 

But honestly, I don’t know how to do that. So...Any feedback would be greatly appreciated. 

Please let me know what you think. 

Love Daena x

Give away... 100 Days of Kindness

Kindness week has just passed us by and so did the international day of Random Acts of Kindness (it was yesterday).

 I wanted to mark the occasion some how and seeing as I somehow let the day slip by completely unnoticed I thought I would do my Random Act of Kindness today instead. I thought a give away would be wonderful. 

I decided that my Random Act of Kindness would be to give a book to a random follower of this blog and the Facebook page. 

The book I chose is actually a kindness workbook. It’s called “100 Days of Kindness” and I bought it from Paperchase (a stationary company here in the UK for those who don’t know it). 

It’s beautiful. There are two ways to use it too. One you can work through the work book in chronological order 1-100. 

Or you can do a kindness a day that you choose randomly from the book and when you fill in the pages you include the date you did it. Kind of like a random act of kindness lucky dip! 

I will happily send this book to someone at the end of next week. I’ll contact you here or Facebook for your postal address if you are the one who will receive this Random Act of Kindness*. I’ll draw a name out of a hat on Sunday.  

The only request I ask is you like the Facebook Page and/or leave a comment below for your chance to be the lucky recipient

Not sure what to say? How about letting me know what kindness you have done for someone else? I always love to hear that! 

I hope you had a great kind week! 

Much love to you all, 

Daena 

*I will not use your address for any other purpose than sending the package to you. I don’t sell or pass on any personal information. I just want you to know I will treat your information kindly. 👍☺️👍

Valentine’s Day - not a good day for everyone.

Happy Valentine’s Day! 

Today will be a great day for so many who love Valentines Day. But it will also be a really hard day for others. 

Whilst some are being showered with gifts and love, and others will be happy to avoid it all the fuss, there are some who will see the love and gifts given to others and be sad. They will be sad they aren’t getting the love and attention like that themselves. Whether it’s because their partner doesn’t believe in Valentine’s Day, or has left or passed away or they are partner-less and would like a special someone to shower with love and gifts or be showered with love and gifts. And I’m sure a few other scenarios in between.  

So if you know someone who feels like they are missing out, be kind to them today. Send them a picture or a note (or a little gift if you are inclined to do so) and let them know you appreciate their friendship and love them for that.*

It could be something simple Like this: 

Valentine’s Day is not just a day about romantic love, but all the kinds of love there is.

 So cherish your friendships, siblings, parents, extended family, neighbours, work mates and acquaintances. 

A small gesture could make someone’s day brighter. 

Also, if today is a struggle for you, don’t forget to be kind to yourself too! 

I hope this finds you well. 

Love Daena x

Ps. 

My game needed to be shared too. So cute to make a heart today of all days! ☺️ much love. Xx

PPS. Note: for those who don’t want anything to do with the Valentine’s Day, please respect the space of those who need it. Not everyone loves the occasion. Be kind to them too. 

Most memorable kindness - a single rose

I was listening to The Kindness Podcast with a friend at work today. One of the questions regularly posed at the end of each episode is “what is your favourite kindness story”? KC and I were discussing what the biggest kindness we ever received was.

I didn’t know what mine was. I have been been thinking about it all day.

I have a few very memorable moments but I finally realised that the kindness that moves me even now is one from one of the hardest days of my life.

The day my father died.

My father, Vic, had been struggling with a rare brain disease for almost a decade when he finally passed away. He had been in a high care facility that we visited almost every day.

 Over the course of the 7 years* that dad had been in the facility he had been close to death on several occasions. Including the times we were told that he wouldn’t live until Christmas… on more than one occasion. We had even sat vigil over him when they told us he wouldn’t live through the night (2 years before his actual death). But my father made a recovery, surprising us all. He had made a miraculous recovery on each and every occasion.  Never quite returning to his previous state of health, the way he has been before the most recent brain bleed or stroke he had. He deteriorated a lot and recovered slightly. But he always seemed to recover to a certain extent.

Needless to say the day he actual died we couldn’t believe it. My sister even made a 45 minute drive to come and see him. Because she just expected him to wake up. It’s almost funny now to look back on our reactions but shock at the time was in full force.

When we first went in to see him, within an hour or two of his death, we noticed one of the beautiful staff members had made a tiny gesture because he knew how hard it would be for us. His kindness was simple. But it left a strong memory with me. This kind carer had placed a shroud over my dad with a single white rose on his chest. That tiny detail is what I remember. The white rose. That someone had thought to soften the blow of my fathers death by leaving a single solitary rose on his chest. It was beautiful.

I sat with my fathers body for 2 hours whilst we waited for the funeral home to come and get him. I kept expecting him to breathe again. I didn’t take my eyes off my dads chest for almost the whole time. For that time I almost stared exclusively at a single white rose. I held a cold hand and cried staring at the chest of a man who had been breathing when I had seen him only a few hours earlier.

I don’t think the Carer who left the rose would ever know how much that small gesture meant to me and my family. It meant the world.

I sometimes wonder what little moments of beauty my dad caused in his life to make others lives better. He always made other people feel seen and heard. He didn’t care if someone was a politician or a homeless person, a policeman or a priest, a farmer or a city slicker, and indigenous person or a non-Australian, he made friends with people from all walks of life, from a variety of countries around the globe. He spoke with kindness to so many and of so many. I hope that I can continue to grow into a woman he would be proud to call his daughter.

I hope that you continue to do small kind deeds because you never know what impact they will have on those around you. After all who would expect a white rose to have been so powerful.

Sending love to you all,
Love Daena x


*note: For 3 years after his diagnosis, dad was cared for at home before he needed more support that my mum and the rest of our little family could provide on our own. It was a very hard decision for my mum but Dad thrived in that environment. He was loved by all the nurses because he would be kind (& cheeky) and loved a cuppa and a chat which he could coax out of everyone! Even when he couldn’t talk towards the end he loved to sit and hold hands with whom ever was there. My dad is missed by us all.

Frustration

I have spent a lot of this week dealing with frustration.

Firstly, I had to get a new screen for my phone. Id smashed it when I fell over on a pebble beach last week and it was in my back pocket. On Tuesday my new screen arrived however I managed to drop the broken phone in the toilet at work before I had a chance to replace the screen. Due to the problem with the screen the insides haven’t been able to dry out as quickly as I would have liked.

I still don’t know if I will ever get back all the photos, memories, cherished videos, blog post ideas, story ideas and half completed chapters of books I am currently writing.

When this happened on Tuesday at work we had already had to deal with a work car breaking down, being snowed off after driving almost 2 hours to get to our archaeological site. Because there was so much snow around a lot of other people were in the office when we got back and it was jam packed. I often don’t deal well with tight spaces and lots of people. Tuesday was no exception. I was so emotionally and mentally drained that night I had early dinner and shower and was in bed by 8.30pm.

Wednesday was almost the most frustrating day of my life. We got to site and for the first hour it was okay because there was frozen puddles to crack and sheets of ice to throw and smash through to continue with the work. However, by the time morning tea came around, the whole place had started to defrost. Which you would think would be a great thing, except because it was clay it became sticky and miserable. Usually when a job is this annoying I put on some cheerful music or an inspirational podcast and get to work. But having broken my phone the day before it was just me and my thoughts. Me and my frustration.


It was so frustrating when every step I took meant I was either stuck to the ground so I couldn’t walk easily, or had enough clay stick to my feet it was like wearing weighted platform shoes that could have rivaled the height of the kind my sister wore in the 90s. #SpiceGirlsForeva. I even fell into the mud on more than on occasion. Pushing a wheelbarrow in that clay will now haunt my dreams… forever.

The whole day of work continued to be like this for me. Jobs that would normally took 30mins to do took 4 hours.

It was the first time I have ever been so frustrated I have wanted to weep. (Or at least it is the most recent so it sticks in my mind to the exclusion of all else). I still feel myself getting frustrated now just thinking about it. It was also completely physically exhausting. I came home absolutely knackered.

When I finally got home I managed to message my boyfriend from my tablet. My family back home in Australia would have been well and truly asleep by the time I got in from work, so I couldn’t call my mum. It actually made me more upset because I couldn’t call anyone as my phone was dead. No phone calls at all.

I have my tablet but it wasn’t then set up with anything and every app wanted me to use my phone to verify it. Talk about frustrating!

I had to figure out what to do that evening to get me out of the funk. I used a few little tips and tricks to help. This wont work for everyone. I think taking some time to get to know what helps you when you are emotionally and physically exhausted will help you.

Firstly, I cried. A good solid sob-fest. Everything I had been holding in for the last 36-48 hours came tumbling out. I must admit I was not very positive. My boyfriend G got really worried about me because I don’t usually sound so defeated or so distraught. What he did was remind me that this is not normal and therefore temporary.

When I had dried my eyes and felt a little lighter I decided I needed to change the way things were going for me. I needed to laugh, too feel clean (get rid of the mud and clay), I needed a win and I needed some comfort food.

I decided to make myself some pizza. Hangry is a new word for a reason. Dealing with the most important part first was going to help me immensely. For someone like me, who is on the Auto-Immune Protocol, making pizza is a lot more time intensive and complicated than nipping to the local Pizza place. Thankfully I had the ingredients on hands. I didn’t even feel guilty when I ate a whole pizza to myself. So, yummy comfort food. Check.

I needed to wash of the mud of the day. So I had a nice hot shower. I washed my hair and braided it when it was almost dry so that I would feel better in the morning as I wouldn’t have to do anything with it. Feeling Clean. Check.

I did some jobs I had been putting off. Like putting away the clothes drying in my room. This feels like a constant job because in winter everything takes so long to dry. I also changed my sheets and did another load of washing (yes, ruining my empty drying rack – but yay! Clean clothes). Having a win. Check.

Lastly I needed a laugh. One thing I find I watch to do this is QI. A British show hosted primarily by Stephen Fry but also by Sandi Thompson. For those not familiar with it, it is a great game show that you can watch one or two episodes of and learn something but usually laugh at too. It often hosts a great range of comedians including some great Aussie comedic icons. It has a habit of making me laugh a lot, whilst learning a heap too. Change my mood. Check.

By that time, It was bed time. So I did what I usually do, I wrote 10 things I was grateful for. This is a nightly ritual for me that helps me reframe my day. You might wonder how I could be grateful for a range of things as my day had been so…. Yes… frustrating. But it is amazing what you can be grateful for when you think about the good. Here is what I wrote in my journal…

WEDNESDAY 30TH JANUARY 2019:

1. I am truly grateful that I had my tablet alarm to wake me up this morning because I was able to get up, dressed and to work on time.
2. I am truly blessed that KC & I got to play with the frozen puddles because we laughed a lot.
3. I am happy and blessed I finally got my Section Photo taken because It took me all day to clean up my ditch slot and get it ready for photographing.
4. With all my heart thank you that I was helped my the Polish crew from the other office because their small acts of kindness made my day so much more bearable.
5. Thank you that we stopped at the services on the way home because I hot a hot cup of tea and that was enough to warm my frozen fingers.
6. I am truly happy that I was able to help the office staff by printing off some extra paperwork for the file when I got back to the office, because it meant they had more time for more important things.
7. I am truly blessed that I got prawns on discount at the supermarket because It meant could add them to my pizza tonight.
8. I am happy and blessed G and I could message on my tablet because I feel so disconnected from my family and friends right now.
9. With all my heart thank you for QI, Pizza and hot showers because they really help me improve my mood.
10. Thank you that I got lots of jobs done because I feel like a successful adult.

I always add a reason why I am grateful for a certain thing. Just saying ‘I am grateful for life’ is nice, but what about it makes you feel it in your bones? Or at least in your heart? Actually feeling the gratitude helps me get out of my funk.

As you can see there were good things about my day too. It wasn’t all frustration. It was also… ice cracking, hot tea, pizza, kindness from colleagues, hot showers, having a win, discount prawns, having a back up alarm clock, laughter, getting the job done, connectedness and bringing kindness to others. Does that mean I wont experience frustration again?? I wish.

Thursday could have been just as frustrating, but this time I was more prepared. Pizza for lunch( (leftovers for the win). A messenger phone call with G from my tablet. Having small wins. Making someone else’s day by bringing them a gift.

I also had several people be really kind to me which was really beautiful and unexpected. Some simply shared in my frustration, whilst others offered me use of old phones. I also got hugs from a few friends and colleagues.

Plus, I finally got a cuddle from G when I finally made it to Wales that evening under the threat of snow. And snow it did! But thankfully I got there safe!

Sometimes knowing how to get yourself out of a funk is the best skill there is. I think I am still learning to deal with frustration but at least now I have some strategies to deal with it myself.

Be kind to one another.

Love Daena