A new kindness idea... for books!

I have been reading prolifically. I’ve been purchasing about 10 books a fortnight from charity shops. I must admit that most of them are Romance. I like to think part of it is research. I love writing and have for years and have been reading and writing romance for years. None of it is publishable yet, but I love to read them to see what types of stories I want to write. What I enjoy and how different people tell their stories. I am blessed to have a few family friends who are prolific and published Romance authors and Life lit writers. They are very successful at it too.

So I read Romance stories a lot. Which leads me to think about what to do with these books once I’ve finished with them. 

In the past I’ve been giving those books to a friend for her to read. My friend just got herself a new job and is moving to London in a few days! 😭😭😭 I’m going to miss that girl. 

But it leaves me with a question as what to do now with my large collection of romance novels. Not many other people have the same taste in books as I do. So finding someone else to read them has been harder. 

I no longer feel the need to keep all the ones I’ve read however I have kept a couple that I really enjoyed as inspiration. 

So, I decided to do something with a lot of the books I’ve been getting. I’m leaving them for people on public transport. Like this one.

“I’m in no mood for love” by Rachel Gibson was a sweet story of a woman getting over the heat break of discovering her fiancé in bed with another person, the washing machine repair man. 

I liked this book because it was set over a longer period of time. Not a couple days like a lot of the other books I have read recently. It is still a fast paced story with the two protagonists being writers in different genres. And it’s a lot of fun. It’s kind of a sweet romance rather than hot an steamy. 

I left a little note for someone to find. I was visiting a friend in London. For me to get from Reading to London it takes a 30 minute train ride to get there ( I don’t know why I don’t go to Reading more often). 

So fun to leave the book on the train on my way to London. :) 

I must admit I did wait till almost everyone else was off the train to leave it there.  

Here is a great kindness idea for you to enjoy! 

Love Daena x 

The cookie...

Today on Facebook I shared the story of a woman who helped another younger woman  with epilepsy. What does this have to do with a cookie you might ask? Well hang in there and I’ll tell you. 

Let me sum up the story of those two women (for those who didn’t see the post). Read here is you want to see the story in full! 

Erynn was travelling home on the train when she was approached by a young woman. The young woman was holding out a piece of paper that said “seizure plan”. The younger woman knew she was about to have a seizure and was needing a little support and asked Erynn to stay with her until Erynn was going to get off for her stop. The young girl had moved her purse and folded her scarf to catch her own head when the seizure started. Erynn (chose to miss her train stop because she wanted to make sure the girl was okay) read the seizure plan and followed it. It became her anchor. Erynn times the seizure as directed. After 3 minutes the young woman comes around and they chat briefly before having a second seizure. The seizure plan becomes an anchor again as it explains the young woman has these seizure one to four times a day and means that sometimes they can last up to an hour. “Just think about that for a second. Think about being randomly completely vulnerable multiple times a day, and this is just... every day.” 

When the young woman comes around again she is so tired she just wants to go home. So that’s what Erynn helps her to do. She doesn’t call the ambulance or leave her in the hands or someone else, because that isn’t what she needed. In fact it could have made it worse as loud noises and flashing lights are triggers for her seizures, and both are common with ambulances. Plus, it would undoubtedly cost money and get her further away from her home. This is a daily occurrence for the young woman. She seizes a few more times under Erynns watchful gaze. Each time the young woman carefully tucks her scarf under her head. 

Erynn could have so easily made it someone else problem. But that’s not what the young woman needed. She needed to be supported. All the young woman asked of Erynn was to be accommodated until Erynn needed to get off the train. But Erynn went beyond that. 

The young woman needed a lot more kindness than she asked for.  Erynns post calls us to be a kinder community to everyone and not just be ‘accommodating’ because that is how as a community we thrive. 

“Accommodation is the bare minimum. If I sat with her until my stop and then left, that’s what accommodation looks like.

It’s not good enough. Not for me, not for her, not for community and not for our world.

Build something better, folks. Build a better world.”

We are a community. We are not separate from other living beings ( I’m no hermit even if somedays I feel like one). 

This post has me think about how we accommodate others and how we can take that next step to kindness. 

It’s not easy. But everyone needs kindness. 

It doesn’t matter if they are rich, poor or somewhere in between. It doesn’t matter if they are socialy inept or socially proficient or if they avoid society all together, like a hermit. It doesn’t matter if they are black, white, pink, yellow, grey, rainbow coloured or are covered in tattoos. It doesn’t matter what ability level they have or challenges they face. It doesn’t matter if they have differing religious or political beliefs to us. It doesn’t matter what circumstances... EVERYONE needs gentle kindness. Everyone has the need to be seen and heard. Everyone has the need to be loved.* and it reminded me of a cartoon I saw recently... about a cookie. 

Kindness helps build community and connects us to each other. It is both profoundly powerful and fairly simple. If it is safe to do so, always be kind. When it’s hard to do it, be kind. When it is easy to do it, be kind. But challenge yourself, as I will challenge myself to go beyond accommodating others and work towards gentle kindness. 

Be brave and be kind! 

Love Daena x


*Everyone wants love and kindness. I also know not everyone you meet will be kind to you. Love bravely and act kindly but use both your intuition and your head to make cleverly kind choices. You can be safe and still challenge your own social predispositions towards other peoples, cultures, religions, sexes, creeds, abilities and genders so you can make wise and kind choices! Good luck! 😘❤️

That little voice...

I’ve been away for the last two weeks for work. It’s been busy and crazy and messy. But I’ve met some great people and gotten to know others better. 

I’ve been able to stay in some amazing houses and go to new places. Work is never boring for me. 

However it has meant that I’ve been a bit off my game when it came to posting anything for two weeks. I decided to give myself a little break instead of pushing myself. 

How could I profess kindness and not look after myself? It would be silly.

So I’m doing my best to be kind to myself. But it’s hard not to feel guilty. 

Do you ever feel guilty when you don’t do something you said you would do? Even if you had to so you could care for yourself? I do. Often. 

I think that it comes to some old beliefs about myself that no longer serve me. I often struggle with those deep seated beliefs that say “I’m not good enough” or that “I’m not worthy” of anything. It’s hard to confront that part of me. It comes to a head any time I don’t do what I say I’m going to do. 

I don’t always know how to combat it. I intellectually know that I’m worthy of friendship and love. However, that little voice can be insidious. 

Sometimes I really struggle with being good enough to share anything, let alone share kindness. What does this little white girl originally from Perth, Australia really know about kindness? Nothing. I’ve not done anything so great. Some of the things I’ve done no body remembers (including me) so what makes me think I’m the person to share these things? I don’t know. So I struggle. 

Then I ask myself... how can I be kinder to me? If I’m putting myself down all the time, how can I be Kinder? How can I do what I do for others, but for me?

First I have to change my thinking.

Every time I hear my internal voice telling me I’m not good enough. I quietly listen and then tell it, “thank you for adding in your 2 cents worth but you, YOU are amazing.” I have to be brave. 

I must admit this isn’t always successful. Those negative words are something I’ve told myself on the inside for years. So dealing with them is hard. Rebelling is hard. So I don’t. That little voice that tells me I’m not good enough also tells me it’s too hard to be kind to others let alone yourself. So I do what I can to change my thinking. I can be braver. 

I listen to meditations that encourage a positive mindset and encourage kindness to the self. They work. But not all the time. When that voice is really loud I need more than affirmations. 

I listen to Podcasts like “The Mindful Kind” which gives helpful tips and tricks about how to deal with that voice inside you. It helps me have a healthy outlook. The podcast offers strategies to be kind to yourself too. But you have to put those strategies in action and when I have little energy, it can be hard. 

So, I watch inspiring movies that motivate me to be kinder like “Pay It Forward”. I watch “Hallmark” movies because they make me feel good so I can be nicer to myself because I feel better on the inside. Whilst some might find them a bit too mushie, I really enjoy them. I know comedy is also a great source of changing your mood (just a reminder to myself to stay away from dark humour or otherwise it feeds into my negativity). 

I think these little tricks are like giving my inside self a little mental cuddle. Like you would to a friend who is struggling. Embracing the darkness to reveal the light.

When it comes to mindset with me it really comes down to providing myself with strategies that can subtly fool my inside voice into believing differently. 

I’m not perfect. I need to forgive myself for that. There are ways I’m working on me being a little bit better. A little bit kinder to myself. A little bit kinder to the world. 

Nobody is perfect. And the expectation that you need to be the exception to the rule is dangerous. 

It’s a struggle to embrace that part of you that always criticises you and judges your choices and actions. It needs love and kindness too! 

All you need to do is be Kind and Brave and you can do anything. 

Sending love to you all, 

Love Daena 

A Note after New Zealand’s Massacre

On this blog we promote Kindness and love. Sometimes it is hard to love those different from ourselves. 

Sometimes it’s hard to even understand those differences. But we need to do our best to embrace them because kindness in the face of difference is where the greatest capacity for healthy change occurs. In ourselves and in others. 

My heart breaks for New Zealand. It hurts even more because I know someone from my home country perpetrated the crime, as though he speaks for me. He does not. 

I’m asking everyone this week to do a Random Act of Kindness and fill the world with Love. If you want to please share your act of kindness with your friends and family. Kindness breeds kindness. So the more who share the kindness the more kindness is shared. 

This week we need more because love eradicates fear. And we have enough fear in our world so let’s turn the tables and bring another person light and love.

I hope this finds you all well. 

Love Daena XX 

40 days of Kindness -Lent Kindness

I’m still healing after a week of being really unwell. I thought I would keep it simple and share my kind deeds for lent.

Day 1: 

Day 2: 

Day 3: 

Day 4:

Day 5: 

Well that’s all for now. 

I hope this finds you all well! 

Sending love, 

Daena XX 

Kindness for self and Lent

For the last week or so I’ve been quite unwell. Just a cold but it’s been enough for me to have a few days off work and I’m still not completely recovered. 

So I’ve been taking time to rest, heal and recoup. Needless to say, I’ve been able to achieve very little apart from the bare minimum of my own life. To be kind to myself I haven’t pushed myself to get the blog out or do too much else. 

Lent starts today around the world. Traditionally a Christian period of fasting, to represent the 40 days that Jesus wandered the desert and was tested before he made the ultimate sacrifice. 

Lent has evolved into a time when you don’t simply have to give up foods. It is often still a test of willpower. For those who are brave, they bravely give up something they think they cannot live without. It can be anything from giving up meat, to chocolate, fizzy drinks or even social media (which a brave friend is doing this year). Lent ends on Easter Sunday, and people can enjoy their repast again. 

As I grew up in the Anglican Church I’ve used lent in the past to see if I really did need certain things in my life. I’ve given up chocolate, coffee (before the days of insomnia as I’ve now given it up for good), sugar, Diet Coke or soft drinks in general, cakes and sweets, and so much more. 

But another idea for observing Lent is instead of giving something up, you take up something. Like a new habit or service to others. So I thought this year I would play a little game with myself. I might not post every day but I will record and share my 40 days of kindnesses. I want people to see how simple it is to take up acts of kindness. Even if it’s just for lent. This little exercise I am hoping will be motivating for me too. 

So here is day one... 

It might not seem like a bit deal but some days I struggle to go on social media or even take photos. So i know it will be a challenge to me. Which is perfect for observing Lent. 

Anyways, I hope you are well! 

May kindness follow wherever you go! 

Love Daena x

Give away... 100 Days of Kindness

Kindness week has just passed us by and so did the international day of Random Acts of Kindness (it was yesterday).

 I wanted to mark the occasion some how and seeing as I somehow let the day slip by completely unnoticed I thought I would do my Random Act of Kindness today instead. I thought a give away would be wonderful. 

I decided that my Random Act of Kindness would be to give a book to a random follower of this blog and the Facebook page. 

The book I chose is actually a kindness workbook. It’s called “100 Days of Kindness” and I bought it from Paperchase (a stationary company here in the UK for those who don’t know it). 

It’s beautiful. There are two ways to use it too. One you can work through the work book in chronological order 1-100. 

Or you can do a kindness a day that you choose randomly from the book and when you fill in the pages you include the date you did it. Kind of like a random act of kindness lucky dip! 

I will happily send this book to someone at the end of next week. I’ll contact you here or Facebook for your postal address if you are the one who will receive this Random Act of Kindness*. I’ll draw a name out of a hat on Sunday.  

The only request I ask is you like the Facebook Page and/or leave a comment below for your chance to be the lucky recipient

Not sure what to say? How about letting me know what kindness you have done for someone else? I always love to hear that! 

I hope you had a great kind week! 

Much love to you all, 

Daena 

*I will not use your address for any other purpose than sending the package to you. I don’t sell or pass on any personal information. I just want you to know I will treat your information kindly. 👍☺️👍

Valentine’s Day - not a good day for everyone.

Happy Valentine’s Day! 

Today will be a great day for so many who love Valentines Day. But it will also be a really hard day for others. 

Whilst some are being showered with gifts and love, and others will be happy to avoid it all the fuss, there are some who will see the love and gifts given to others and be sad. They will be sad they aren’t getting the love and attention like that themselves. Whether it’s because their partner doesn’t believe in Valentine’s Day, or has left or passed away or they are partner-less and would like a special someone to shower with love and gifts or be showered with love and gifts. And I’m sure a few other scenarios in between.  

So if you know someone who feels like they are missing out, be kind to them today. Send them a picture or a note (or a little gift if you are inclined to do so) and let them know you appreciate their friendship and love them for that.*

It could be something simple Like this: 

Valentine’s Day is not just a day about romantic love, but all the kinds of love there is.

 So cherish your friendships, siblings, parents, extended family, neighbours, work mates and acquaintances. 

A small gesture could make someone’s day brighter. 

Also, if today is a struggle for you, don’t forget to be kind to yourself too! 

I hope this finds you well. 

Love Daena x

Ps. 

My game needed to be shared too. So cute to make a heart today of all days! ☺️ much love. Xx

PPS. Note: for those who don’t want anything to do with the Valentine’s Day, please respect the space of those who need it. Not everyone loves the occasion. Be kind to them too. 

Most memorable kindness - a single rose

I was listening to The Kindness Podcast with a friend at work today. One of the questions regularly posed at the end of each episode is “what is your favourite kindness story”? KC and I were discussing what the biggest kindness we ever received was.

I didn’t know what mine was. I have been been thinking about it all day.

I have a few very memorable moments but I finally realised that the kindness that moves me even now is one from one of the hardest days of my life.

The day my father died.

My father, Vic, had been struggling with a rare brain disease for almost a decade when he finally passed away. He had been in a high care facility that we visited almost every day.

 Over the course of the 7 years* that dad had been in the facility he had been close to death on several occasions. Including the times we were told that he wouldn’t live until Christmas… on more than one occasion. We had even sat vigil over him when they told us he wouldn’t live through the night (2 years before his actual death). But my father made a recovery, surprising us all. He had made a miraculous recovery on each and every occasion.  Never quite returning to his previous state of health, the way he has been before the most recent brain bleed or stroke he had. He deteriorated a lot and recovered slightly. But he always seemed to recover to a certain extent.

Needless to say the day he actual died we couldn’t believe it. My sister even made a 45 minute drive to come and see him. Because she just expected him to wake up. It’s almost funny now to look back on our reactions but shock at the time was in full force.

When we first went in to see him, within an hour or two of his death, we noticed one of the beautiful staff members had made a tiny gesture because he knew how hard it would be for us. His kindness was simple. But it left a strong memory with me. This kind carer had placed a shroud over my dad with a single white rose on his chest. That tiny detail is what I remember. The white rose. That someone had thought to soften the blow of my fathers death by leaving a single solitary rose on his chest. It was beautiful.

I sat with my fathers body for 2 hours whilst we waited for the funeral home to come and get him. I kept expecting him to breathe again. I didn’t take my eyes off my dads chest for almost the whole time. For that time I almost stared exclusively at a single white rose. I held a cold hand and cried staring at the chest of a man who had been breathing when I had seen him only a few hours earlier.

I don’t think the Carer who left the rose would ever know how much that small gesture meant to me and my family. It meant the world.

I sometimes wonder what little moments of beauty my dad caused in his life to make others lives better. He always made other people feel seen and heard. He didn’t care if someone was a politician or a homeless person, a policeman or a priest, a farmer or a city slicker, and indigenous person or a non-Australian, he made friends with people from all walks of life, from a variety of countries around the globe. He spoke with kindness to so many and of so many. I hope that I can continue to grow into a woman he would be proud to call his daughter.

I hope that you continue to do small kind deeds because you never know what impact they will have on those around you. After all who would expect a white rose to have been so powerful.

Sending love to you all,
Love Daena x


*note: For 3 years after his diagnosis, dad was cared for at home before he needed more support that my mum and the rest of our little family could provide on our own. It was a very hard decision for my mum but Dad thrived in that environment. He was loved by all the nurses because he would be kind (& cheeky) and loved a cuppa and a chat which he could coax out of everyone! Even when he couldn’t talk towards the end he loved to sit and hold hands with whom ever was there. My dad is missed by us all.

Frustration

I have spent a lot of this week dealing with frustration.

Firstly, I had to get a new screen for my phone. Id smashed it when I fell over on a pebble beach last week and it was in my back pocket. On Tuesday my new screen arrived however I managed to drop the broken phone in the toilet at work before I had a chance to replace the screen. Due to the problem with the screen the insides haven’t been able to dry out as quickly as I would have liked.

I still don’t know if I will ever get back all the photos, memories, cherished videos, blog post ideas, story ideas and half completed chapters of books I am currently writing.

When this happened on Tuesday at work we had already had to deal with a work car breaking down, being snowed off after driving almost 2 hours to get to our archaeological site. Because there was so much snow around a lot of other people were in the office when we got back and it was jam packed. I often don’t deal well with tight spaces and lots of people. Tuesday was no exception. I was so emotionally and mentally drained that night I had early dinner and shower and was in bed by 8.30pm.

Wednesday was almost the most frustrating day of my life. We got to site and for the first hour it was okay because there was frozen puddles to crack and sheets of ice to throw and smash through to continue with the work. However, by the time morning tea came around, the whole place had started to defrost. Which you would think would be a great thing, except because it was clay it became sticky and miserable. Usually when a job is this annoying I put on some cheerful music or an inspirational podcast and get to work. But having broken my phone the day before it was just me and my thoughts. Me and my frustration.


It was so frustrating when every step I took meant I was either stuck to the ground so I couldn’t walk easily, or had enough clay stick to my feet it was like wearing weighted platform shoes that could have rivaled the height of the kind my sister wore in the 90s. #SpiceGirlsForeva. I even fell into the mud on more than on occasion. Pushing a wheelbarrow in that clay will now haunt my dreams… forever.

The whole day of work continued to be like this for me. Jobs that would normally took 30mins to do took 4 hours.

It was the first time I have ever been so frustrated I have wanted to weep. (Or at least it is the most recent so it sticks in my mind to the exclusion of all else). I still feel myself getting frustrated now just thinking about it. It was also completely physically exhausting. I came home absolutely knackered.

When I finally got home I managed to message my boyfriend from my tablet. My family back home in Australia would have been well and truly asleep by the time I got in from work, so I couldn’t call my mum. It actually made me more upset because I couldn’t call anyone as my phone was dead. No phone calls at all.

I have my tablet but it wasn’t then set up with anything and every app wanted me to use my phone to verify it. Talk about frustrating!

I had to figure out what to do that evening to get me out of the funk. I used a few little tips and tricks to help. This wont work for everyone. I think taking some time to get to know what helps you when you are emotionally and physically exhausted will help you.

Firstly, I cried. A good solid sob-fest. Everything I had been holding in for the last 36-48 hours came tumbling out. I must admit I was not very positive. My boyfriend G got really worried about me because I don’t usually sound so defeated or so distraught. What he did was remind me that this is not normal and therefore temporary.

When I had dried my eyes and felt a little lighter I decided I needed to change the way things were going for me. I needed to laugh, too feel clean (get rid of the mud and clay), I needed a win and I needed some comfort food.

I decided to make myself some pizza. Hangry is a new word for a reason. Dealing with the most important part first was going to help me immensely. For someone like me, who is on the Auto-Immune Protocol, making pizza is a lot more time intensive and complicated than nipping to the local Pizza place. Thankfully I had the ingredients on hands. I didn’t even feel guilty when I ate a whole pizza to myself. So, yummy comfort food. Check.

I needed to wash of the mud of the day. So I had a nice hot shower. I washed my hair and braided it when it was almost dry so that I would feel better in the morning as I wouldn’t have to do anything with it. Feeling Clean. Check.

I did some jobs I had been putting off. Like putting away the clothes drying in my room. This feels like a constant job because in winter everything takes so long to dry. I also changed my sheets and did another load of washing (yes, ruining my empty drying rack – but yay! Clean clothes). Having a win. Check.

Lastly I needed a laugh. One thing I find I watch to do this is QI. A British show hosted primarily by Stephen Fry but also by Sandi Thompson. For those not familiar with it, it is a great game show that you can watch one or two episodes of and learn something but usually laugh at too. It often hosts a great range of comedians including some great Aussie comedic icons. It has a habit of making me laugh a lot, whilst learning a heap too. Change my mood. Check.

By that time, It was bed time. So I did what I usually do, I wrote 10 things I was grateful for. This is a nightly ritual for me that helps me reframe my day. You might wonder how I could be grateful for a range of things as my day had been so…. Yes… frustrating. But it is amazing what you can be grateful for when you think about the good. Here is what I wrote in my journal…

WEDNESDAY 30TH JANUARY 2019:

1. I am truly grateful that I had my tablet alarm to wake me up this morning because I was able to get up, dressed and to work on time.
2. I am truly blessed that KC & I got to play with the frozen puddles because we laughed a lot.
3. I am happy and blessed I finally got my Section Photo taken because It took me all day to clean up my ditch slot and get it ready for photographing.
4. With all my heart thank you that I was helped my the Polish crew from the other office because their small acts of kindness made my day so much more bearable.
5. Thank you that we stopped at the services on the way home because I hot a hot cup of tea and that was enough to warm my frozen fingers.
6. I am truly happy that I was able to help the office staff by printing off some extra paperwork for the file when I got back to the office, because it meant they had more time for more important things.
7. I am truly blessed that I got prawns on discount at the supermarket because It meant could add them to my pizza tonight.
8. I am happy and blessed G and I could message on my tablet because I feel so disconnected from my family and friends right now.
9. With all my heart thank you for QI, Pizza and hot showers because they really help me improve my mood.
10. Thank you that I got lots of jobs done because I feel like a successful adult.

I always add a reason why I am grateful for a certain thing. Just saying ‘I am grateful for life’ is nice, but what about it makes you feel it in your bones? Or at least in your heart? Actually feeling the gratitude helps me get out of my funk.

As you can see there were good things about my day too. It wasn’t all frustration. It was also… ice cracking, hot tea, pizza, kindness from colleagues, hot showers, having a win, discount prawns, having a back up alarm clock, laughter, getting the job done, connectedness and bringing kindness to others. Does that mean I wont experience frustration again?? I wish.

Thursday could have been just as frustrating, but this time I was more prepared. Pizza for lunch( (leftovers for the win). A messenger phone call with G from my tablet. Having small wins. Making someone else’s day by bringing them a gift.

I also had several people be really kind to me which was really beautiful and unexpected. Some simply shared in my frustration, whilst others offered me use of old phones. I also got hugs from a few friends and colleagues.

Plus, I finally got a cuddle from G when I finally made it to Wales that evening under the threat of snow. And snow it did! But thankfully I got there safe!

Sometimes knowing how to get yourself out of a funk is the best skill there is. I think I am still learning to deal with frustration but at least now I have some strategies to deal with it myself.

Be kind to one another.

Love Daena

Why I didn’t celebrate Australia Day

I want to talk about Australia Day. 

Sure, it’s the type of day that people want to celebrate all the achievements and successes attributed to the Australian nation and its individuals alike. 

When you are far away from home, like I am at the moment, it’s so important to feel like you are connected to what’s going on back home. Or at least that is my experience. But I didn’t celebrate Australia Day here, yesterday... not yet anyways. 

The big problem with Australia Day, as it is, is what it stands for for those peoples whose families were in Australia before colonisation. Right now Australia Day is January 26, and is also known as Invasion Day by many Indigenous Australians. 

Here is some history behind it... 

Before January 26, 1788, “Aboriginal peoples had been living for more than 60 000 years on the continent we now know as Australia. At least 1600 generations of these peoples had lived and died here.” (Kwan, 2019).

January 26 marks the day in 1788 that the British claimed the eastern seaboard of Australia and claimed sovereignty over it. It was known as New Holland at the time. On January 1, 1901, Australias states and territories came together and became a Federation, marking it the Australia that we know it as today. It started out being a day of celebration and unity for white Australians. It wasn’t until 1935 that all states and territories even adopted the term ‘Australia Day’. On top of that it wasn’t until 1994 that it became a consistent date marked by a public holiday by all states and territories (Wikipedia, 2019). 

The date is so contentious because it marks the start date of atrocities against Indigenous Australians, including enslavement, destruction and genocide. It is referred to as ‘Invasion Day’ or ‘Survivors Day’ acknowledging the generations of those who have and continue to live through racism and hate. Many issues for indigenous issues are ongoing including excessive incarceration rates and short life expectancy compared to other non-indigenous people (Russel, 2018; Australian Government, 2018). Sadly, Racism and Xenophobia exist in Australia toward many peoples, including Indigenous Australians. 

I, personally, struggle with anything that actively hurts people. After all, this is a blog about kindness.

This year I decided not to Celebrate... yet. 

However, I think another date would be kinder and more logical. 

A different date would NOT be a day marking the death and destruction of Indigenous people’s and culture. 

It could help everyone celebrate the unity and celebration of what is modern Australia in a more responsible and all together kinder way to ALL those who call Australia home. 

It would prioritise inclusiveness, community and kindness for all. 

Like many, I advocate for the new date to be May 8 (or Maaate). After all Australia does pride itself on mateship. 

 I saw this amazing video from Jordin, an awesome Indigenous Australian comedian, about why we should change the date to May 8. 

It’s clever, funny and gives this privileged white woman a tiny little glimpse into why it would be kinder to all to change the date. 

So, I’m going to be celebrating my Australia Day on May 8! Hopefully the weather is warmer here in England by then, so I can crack open the BBQ and throw some ‘prawns’ on, and some lamb and even some decent sized mushrooms for my vegan friends. I want to celebrate the memories I have of my home back in Australia as a kinder, and more inclusive, multicultural place to be. On a day that doesn’t make others suffer. 

I know that Australia Day is not a simple topic to write about. It’s not simple by any stretch of the imagination. But perhaps a new date will be a small step in the right direction. 

I hope you are all well,

Love Daena x

References 

Australian Government, 2018, Deaths in Australia, accessed from: https://www.aihw.gov.au/reports/life-expectancy-death/deaths/contents/life-expectancy

IndigenousX Pty,Ltd, Twitter post: Tweets, https://indigenousx.com.au

Jordin, 2017, Change Australia Day to May 8, Maaaaate, accessed from: https://youtu.be/tV57_pRGToU

Kwan, E. 2019, History of Australia Day, accessed from:https://www.australiaday.org.au/about-australia-day/history/

Russell, S. 2018, As Indigenous incarceration rates keep rising, justice reinvestment offers a solution, The Conversation, accessed from

http://theconversation.com/as-indigenous-incarceration-rates-keep-rising-justice-reinvestment-offers-a-solution-107610 

Wikipedia, 2019, Australia Day, accessed from:https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Australia_Day 

Looking after yourself: how to fill and empty cup

I wanted to start a new year positively with a kindness post a week. So here is to week 2! How fast has this last few weeks gone? Seriously?! 

This last week has been interesting work wise and exciting in my private life. 

I’ve been working on a couple of different archaeological sites this week. Plus I’ve helping another “new to the company” woman learn the ropes. Which has been both fulfilling and encouraging because I’m still relatively new myself so I find myself learning right along side this lovely lady. 

As for my personal life... well my boyfriend and I today celebrated the fact we survived 6 months together as a couple. Miracles happen. Lol. Whilst I make jokes, he has really looked after me and welcomed me into his family. I spent all of my time with him and his family over Christmas. They all welcomed me in with open arms which is nice because I was so far away from my own family. He has had to learn the hard way how to care for me when I’m not well and how to deal with me when I’m tired, grumpy and inevitably emotional. He’s also had to deal with my quirks and weird sense of humour. I really appreciate this man and his support and encouragement! Thanks G!

Kindness wise I’ve been doing all kinds of things. For instance I brought cheap (reduced to £0.05 per pack of 6) Fruit mince pies to work. I can’t eat them (they are neither Celiac friendly OR AIP friendly) but I thought they would bring a smile to the faces of my colleagues. It did. 

I’ve also smiled at people, complimented some, expressed gratitude for people and things that came my way, baked goodies to share, did a couple odd jobs for people, even made some much needed hot beverages for those I’ve spent time with. I even bought a mate a drink at the pub on Friday night. 

I also did some things to look after myself. Or alternatively put...Be Kind to myself!!!

I had a bath, Meditated (I love the Insight Timer App), Read a book (one of many I got for Christmas), Made a yummy meal and Baked yummy food even I can enjoy. 

I have a list now of things I like to do to help me improve my mood and be kind to myself. After all they do say you cannot give from an empty cup. 

Maybe you can take some “Sunday Ideas” from this list above. Or you could make your own! I keep this list in my journal which I have with me all the time.

What do you like doing that fills your cup up? 

What thing do you do that helps you to be kind to others? 

Wishing you all a great weekend. 

Love Daena x

The first post of 2019 - A Call to Kindness

I bet you have been wondering what has taken me so long? Or if I’ve forgotten what kindness is? No! Absolutely Not! 

The truth is that would be impossible. 

This past year I’ve been working full time and I decided to be thoughtful about what I wanted to share on my blog.

There are a few things that I’ve stuck to in recent years that may continue this year like Sustainable September (but also may not depending on what this year actually brings). 

I am acknowledging my inconsistency with blogging too. I’m not perfect but I’m constantly improving.  Kindness is still so important to me that I keep coming back to it again and again. 

2018 brought with it some HUGE changes for me.  I moved between 3 countries, from Australia to Wales to England. I got 2 jobs (one which I had to leave in order to pursue the other). I moved to 2 new houses in two different counties. I also got myself a new boyfriend (well he’s not so new now... but the first I’ve had in a long time). It brought with it a change in my life circumstances all of which has made my life both easier and harder to bring kindness to peoples lives. 

It’s easier now as I am exposed to a diverse range of people on a daily basis, not many of whom know much about my kindness mission. This makes it quite fun to surprise people with thoughtfulness. 

It can be harder because Archaeology as a career is more often than not back-breaking manual labour. Even though I love it, it wears me out a lot and I come home exhausted regularly. 

However that hasn’t stopped me being kind... 

2019 had already brought with it kindness and encouragement from others for me. 

I’ve continued to joyfully worked to bring a smile to the faces of people I work with, live with and know. 

I wanted to start this year by reminding you that kindness is easy!  AND you can start a year of kindness at any time (even 5 days after New Year like today). If you want to do it don’t let anything stop you, least of all the date. 

So this is a call to kindness if you want to join me. It doesn’t have to be hard. 

For example: 

If you break it down to a weekly kindness schedule : 

Monday’s: smile at a stranger/compliment someone. A compliment could be about their outfit, their adorable pet, their lovely smile, or their ability to keep coming to work everyday when you know they have stuff going on at home or when they are dealing with chronic pain/illness (I have a few friends whose lives are crazy and yet they still show up for me when I need them). 

Tuesday’s: make or buy a hot/cold beverage for someone. it can be offering to get someone a glass of water or remembering and buying them that Double Dirty Chai latte with Coconut Milk they drink on a regular basis. The price or effort is up to you. 

Wednesday’s: take a treat into work to share... it’s hump day on Wednesday and everyone will appreciate a mid-week pick me up (I have been doing this at work - and mostly involved me baking yummy treated on a Tuesday night but this week I took some fruit mince pies in to work (I can’t eat them but they had a packet of 6 fruit mince pies on reduction for £0.05 per back so I grabbed two to make the day more enjoyable for everyone. I got to be kind they got to eat yummy things). If you don’t work regular days etc, make or do something special for your family or friends on a Wednesday if you want to stick to this plan. 

Thursday’s: write a thank you to someone for something good they have done for you. This can be as public as a Facebook post acknowledging their gifts and why you love them so. Or as private as writing them an anonymous hand written note to thank them for generally being a good person. 

Friday’s: do a job or chore for someone else. This can be offering to empty the bin at work or emptying the dishwasher when it’s your housemates/partners turn. It could be raking the leaves for your neighbour, helping them move snow in winter, watering gardens/plants in summer or just checking on an elderly family member/friend/neighbour. 

Saturday’s: Connect with someone you’ve been meaning to contact but keep forgetting to/putting it off. Simply sending a message to a friend or family member that says “I’ve been thinking of you recently, how are things? Hope you are well!” Or writing a letter or email to catch a friend or family member up on all they have been missing in your life. It could be calling someone for a coffee date or organising to go to the movies together. Or it could be sending a care package to a friend in another country (this has made a huge and amazing kindness for me when family and friends have sent stuff my way! 😊). 

Sunday’s: do something to be kind to yourself! This can be having a bath, Reading a book you’ve been wanting to read or even making your favourite tea/coffee/ chocolate/hot Carob drink and taking 5 minutes to sit and enjoy it in silence (yes parents - I know that’s a lot to ask but I hope for your sake you kids sleep sometime!). 

Other things you can do to spice up your kindnesses: 

When it’s someone birthday just send them a message to let them know you know they were born on this day and how special that is to you. If it’s YOUR birthday send a message to your mother (after all she did all the work of growing you inside her for up to 9 months) or a person who has been a mum/parent figure to you to thank them for helping you and keeping you alive this long! Or for teaching you the resilience you needed to stay alive on your own! 

Anytime it’s a special holiday (E.g.  Christmas just gone, Valentine’s, Easter, Hanukkah, Diwali, any festive card giving holiday etc) when you are sending a card, write one thing you are grateful for about that person. It can be hard sometimes but if you think about it, there is a reason you are going to the effort of sending/giving them a card why not make it extra special. 

Do you love books? Do you have a couple extra dollars to make someone’s day? Put some cash (I recommend notes as coins can cause damage to a book) with a post-it note in your favourite book/s at a book shop to contribute to the next person, who opens the book, to purchase it! 

Appreciate the work of those around you like Posties (postmen and women), ambulance workers, Firey’s (fire department workers), nurses, doctors, managers, street cleaners, cleaners in general, garbage men/women, service men and women, retail staff, regular delivery drivers etc. you could always thank them for their work by writing to their work places/ managers to compliment their work or contact these people directly by giving them a thank you note/card. Gratitude is by far one of the nicest and simplest kindnesses around and you can do it verbally or in written form. 

One idea for office workers: 

I like leaving one of our staff little compliments and encouragements at random places in her Post-It Note pad. She knows who does it, but if you were less obvious than I am... You could make it anonymous! Note: I do try to be sneaky but she’s very clever! 

Extra info: 

There are so many ideas if the weekly kindness plan doesn’t work for you! You can check out FB, Instagram, Pinterest, Google and so many places for kindness ideas. 

I am not the first and I won’t be the last to choose to do a kind deed a day. I REALLY WANT people to take this on... it really has changed MY life for the better. And I hope it works for you too! :) 

Here is to another year of kindness. 

Much love to you all, 

Daena x