The cookie...

Today on Facebook I shared the story of a woman who helped another younger woman  with epilepsy. What does this have to do with a cookie you might ask? Well hang in there and I’ll tell you. 

Let me sum up the story of those two women (for those who didn’t see the post). Read here is you want to see the story in full! 

Erynn was travelling home on the train when she was approached by a young woman. The young woman was holding out a piece of paper that said “seizure plan”. The younger woman knew she was about to have a seizure and was needing a little support and asked Erynn to stay with her until Erynn was going to get off for her stop. The young girl had moved her purse and folded her scarf to catch her own head when the seizure started. Erynn (chose to miss her train stop because she wanted to make sure the girl was okay) read the seizure plan and followed it. It became her anchor. Erynn times the seizure as directed. After 3 minutes the young woman comes around and they chat briefly before having a second seizure. The seizure plan becomes an anchor again as it explains the young woman has these seizure one to four times a day and means that sometimes they can last up to an hour. “Just think about that for a second. Think about being randomly completely vulnerable multiple times a day, and this is just... every day.” 

When the young woman comes around again she is so tired she just wants to go home. So that’s what Erynn helps her to do. She doesn’t call the ambulance or leave her in the hands or someone else, because that isn’t what she needed. In fact it could have made it worse as loud noises and flashing lights are triggers for her seizures, and both are common with ambulances. Plus, it would undoubtedly cost money and get her further away from her home. This is a daily occurrence for the young woman. She seizes a few more times under Erynns watchful gaze. Each time the young woman carefully tucks her scarf under her head. 

Erynn could have so easily made it someone else problem. But that’s not what the young woman needed. She needed to be supported. All the young woman asked of Erynn was to be accommodated until Erynn needed to get off the train. But Erynn went beyond that. 

The young woman needed a lot more kindness than she asked for.  Erynns post calls us to be a kinder community to everyone and not just be ‘accommodating’ because that is how as a community we thrive. 

“Accommodation is the bare minimum. If I sat with her until my stop and then left, that’s what accommodation looks like.

It’s not good enough. Not for me, not for her, not for community and not for our world.

Build something better, folks. Build a better world.”

We are a community. We are not separate from other living beings ( I’m no hermit even if somedays I feel like one). 

This post has me think about how we accommodate others and how we can take that next step to kindness. 

It’s not easy. But everyone needs kindness. 

It doesn’t matter if they are rich, poor or somewhere in between. It doesn’t matter if they are socialy inept or socially proficient or if they avoid society all together, like a hermit. It doesn’t matter if they are black, white, pink, yellow, grey, rainbow coloured or are covered in tattoos. It doesn’t matter what ability level they have or challenges they face. It doesn’t matter if they have differing religious or political beliefs to us. It doesn’t matter what circumstances... EVERYONE needs gentle kindness. Everyone has the need to be seen and heard. Everyone has the need to be loved.* and it reminded me of a cartoon I saw recently... about a cookie. 

Kindness helps build community and connects us to each other. It is both profoundly powerful and fairly simple. If it is safe to do so, always be kind. When it’s hard to do it, be kind. When it is easy to do it, be kind. But challenge yourself, as I will challenge myself to go beyond accommodating others and work towards gentle kindness. 

Be brave and be kind! 

Love Daena x


*Everyone wants love and kindness. I also know not everyone you meet will be kind to you. Love bravely and act kindly but use both your intuition and your head to make cleverly kind choices. You can be safe and still challenge your own social predispositions towards other peoples, cultures, religions, sexes, creeds, abilities and genders so you can make wise and kind choices! Good luck! 😘❤️

A Note after New Zealand’s Massacre

On this blog we promote Kindness and love. Sometimes it is hard to love those different from ourselves. 

Sometimes it’s hard to even understand those differences. But we need to do our best to embrace them because kindness in the face of difference is where the greatest capacity for healthy change occurs. In ourselves and in others. 

My heart breaks for New Zealand. It hurts even more because I know someone from my home country perpetrated the crime, as though he speaks for me. He does not. 

I’m asking everyone this week to do a Random Act of Kindness and fill the world with Love. If you want to please share your act of kindness with your friends and family. Kindness breeds kindness. So the more who share the kindness the more kindness is shared. 

This week we need more because love eradicates fear. And we have enough fear in our world so let’s turn the tables and bring another person light and love.

I hope this finds you all well. 

Love Daena XX 

Looking after yourself: how to fill and empty cup

I wanted to start a new year positively with a kindness post a week. So here is to week 2! How fast has this last few weeks gone? Seriously?! 

This last week has been interesting work wise and exciting in my private life. 

I’ve been working on a couple of different archaeological sites this week. Plus I’ve helping another “new to the company” woman learn the ropes. Which has been both fulfilling and encouraging because I’m still relatively new myself so I find myself learning right along side this lovely lady. 

As for my personal life... well my boyfriend and I today celebrated the fact we survived 6 months together as a couple. Miracles happen. Lol. Whilst I make jokes, he has really looked after me and welcomed me into his family. I spent all of my time with him and his family over Christmas. They all welcomed me in with open arms which is nice because I was so far away from my own family. He has had to learn the hard way how to care for me when I’m not well and how to deal with me when I’m tired, grumpy and inevitably emotional. He’s also had to deal with my quirks and weird sense of humour. I really appreciate this man and his support and encouragement! Thanks G!

Kindness wise I’ve been doing all kinds of things. For instance I brought cheap (reduced to £0.05 per pack of 6) Fruit mince pies to work. I can’t eat them (they are neither Celiac friendly OR AIP friendly) but I thought they would bring a smile to the faces of my colleagues. It did. 

I’ve also smiled at people, complimented some, expressed gratitude for people and things that came my way, baked goodies to share, did a couple odd jobs for people, even made some much needed hot beverages for those I’ve spent time with. I even bought a mate a drink at the pub on Friday night. 

I also did some things to look after myself. Or alternatively put...Be Kind to myself!!!

I had a bath, Meditated (I love the Insight Timer App), Read a book (one of many I got for Christmas), Made a yummy meal and Baked yummy food even I can enjoy. 

I have a list now of things I like to do to help me improve my mood and be kind to myself. After all they do say you cannot give from an empty cup. 

Maybe you can take some “Sunday Ideas” from this list above. Or you could make your own! I keep this list in my journal which I have with me all the time.

What do you like doing that fills your cup up? 

What thing do you do that helps you to be kind to others? 

Wishing you all a great weekend. 

Love Daena x

And the world changes...

Hi everyone,
If you have been following us over at the Facebook page, you would know that some big stuff is going on in my world. It has been a while since I wrote last but I have not forgotten about you.

First of all, my hair was lopped off again recently. I have raised over $950 for Variety as well as donating my hair to them to be made into wigs.

 

You can still donate here if you would like to contribute to the cause. I am also loving the new Hair cut. Who knew it would take such small amounts of shampoo? And would dry super fast too? well... short haired people I guess!

But my BIG news is... I am moving far, far, far away from my home in Perth, Australia. 



You see, 10 years ago I moved to the UK to do the last four units of my undergraduate degree. I lived in Hull, England for a whole 5 months, then spent a bit of time travelling around Europe before returning home to Australia. Since then I have had a deep love of Europe and particularly the UK. I've even been back there several times since I returned to Australia. I have some amazing friends in England, Wales, Ireland, Germany... just to name a few.

For the Last few months I have been planning, preparing and organising my life so that I can move back to the UK. A few weeks ago I got my confirmation that I have a 5 year visa to live and work over there. Which is just so exciting and mildly terrifying at the same time. My family are super supportive, because they know this is my dream. However I Know they will miss me greatly.

My mum, whom I have cared for, for the last almost-decade, is safe and will be lovingly cared for. My sister and brother in law will have a room again to house passing visitors and unexpected guests (or Guests when I stop in for a visit). My niece and nephew are both devastated that I will miss the day to day stuff.  my niece beautifully told me today that she "didn't want me to leave, but she didn't want me to come back either" because she wants me to "live my dream". I thought that it was such a beautiful thing that she told me... I think she is also hoping to come visit me and see snow... but I will stick to her very adult perspective for a 10 year old. 

Part of the reason I want to go to the UK is because of the work opportunities there. I have trained to be an Archaeologist and even have my masters degree in the field but I have chosen that my mum and her health were more important at the time to leave to pursue my dreams of archaeology and adventure. For archaeologists, I know that the job is not all lost ruins, crystal skulls, and whole pots. I know it is not all adventure, it can be painful, cold and hard work. But for me ... I have never felt happier than being covered in mud in a trench on the English/Welsh boarder.

So what does that mean for now? I have no idea. I will be a little disconnected from my family and friends in Australia but only physically. There are so many types of technology that I am sure I can make keep friendships up. I have no solid plans for where in the UK I will end up yet. I haven't secured a job in the field, but as it is coming to summer I hope to find something soon.

What does that mean for 365 days of Kindness? Not much really. I will still write here when I can (sporadically at best) and my sister Vandra will help me manage the Facebook page as usual. I am hoping to add a few more Kindness Lovers/sharers to the Facebook page in the future so that we can all share our favourite kindness stories there.

I am still continuing with my kindness everyday. I will miss sharing with the family every night what kind deed they do everyday. However it has meant that we are all doing a version of 365days of kindness. I love that I am not alone in doing it.

However, you may notice my posts have a more travel orientated vibe or even a more a "British" slant to them, even though the Facebook Page will still have many Australian stories in it, it will continue to be a global acknowledgement of kindness.

So next time I write that is where I will be. Somewhere in the UK, celebrating kindness and living my dream. I want to thank everyone who has been encouraging me, supporting me, motivating me, pushing me even, to reach my dreams no matter the cost. 

I hope that I can live the dream and continue to live my life as an example of kindness and love. 

Love you to you all, 

Daena xx

The little book of Kindness

I am reading "The Little Book of Kindness" by Burnaderte Russell at the moment. I am just over half way through this easy to read book. 

I must admit it's taken me a bit of time because I had dropped it in a bag and then couldn't find it again for about 3 weeks. But I have it Back now! Yay! 

Im reading it to myself and had to share this little gem from the section about kindness in the workplace... 

"Don't underestimate the power of a nice smile. Or if you can't smile, the glower with a certain enigmatic allure." 

I found this hilarious! I have had days when I'm not in the smiling mood. But the funny thing about a smile is it is contagious! I remember a poem we used to have glued to the back of the toilet door. 

"Smiling is contagious 

you catch it like the flu, 

Someone smiled at me today, 

I started smiling too. 

I walked around the Corner 

and someone saw my grin 

When they smiled back I realised 

I had passed it on to him. 

I thought about the smile 

and then realised it worth 

A single smile, just like mine, 

can travel around the earth. 

So if you feel a smile begin 

don't leave it undetected 

Let's start an epidemic quick 

and get the world infected." 

-Anon

I hope you have a wonderful day. Make your aim today to smile at 3 people on your travels. Let's get the world infected with smiles! 

Love Daena x

Lent gifting day 15

Simple and sweet today. 

My lent gift for today is probably highly offensive to some. And for that I am sorry. This magnet was another cheap thing that I found in the "gift box" ready to give to someone. After I bought it I realised just how UNkind it was. Even though I have a healthy dose of sarcasm and a good sense of humour, I just couldn't bring myself to give this one to anyone. 

 

I think the following picture that I (roughly) did from a Pinterest quote sums up my "gifting" perfectly (check out my Kindness Pinterest board for the original). 

 

 

I may have regretted buying the magnet but you will never regret being kind!!! Someone at the charity shop may have a different sense of humour to me. Fingers crossed it will be loved and enjoyed rather than remain hidden in my box of gifts. 

Much love,

Daena 

New Years resolutions... blogging

Hello my beautiful followers, friends and family!

Every year for the last 5 years, I have been striving to do a kindness a day. So far so good. 5 x 365 (+1 day for a leap year) and all in all... Well... that's a pretty kind start (I'm just starting the 6th year of kindnesses). 

I start each year with such enthusiasm for kindness and for blogging. Each year I drop one, and every time it's been the blogging. I endeavour to blog regularly. But like almost every other New Years resolution, I start strong and then it doesn't always continue like I mean it to. This year I didn't even start strong. So far this year I've only posted once but trust me when I say... The kindness continues! 

My aim with this blog has always been to encourage you. To inspire you to be passionate, like I am, about kindness. To show just how easy kindness can be! So that we, together, can change the world by becoming the best versions of ourselves. 

I want to share my adventures with you through this life. How I've read books about kindness ideas, or how I've been challenged by others perspectives. I want to be the best person I can be.

This last year has shown me how strong, how loving, how kind and how generous, I can be in the face of tragedy. It was a tough year, loosing my father to his illness, having mum have both her breasts removed because of cancer, and the persistent and lingering complications. And then to have my own health issues and personal struggles on top, that I bravely continue through even today. Often I've kept this so tightly in my grip that I've closed off the hurt and sadness to be numb to almost everything. It is amazing how someone else's kindness is enough to reach me, and remind me why I do what I do.

One blessing, through the darkest times, has been this project. With everything I've been through I was forced to think of kind things to do for myself and others. It was a small joy in a dark time. And I am grateful I was stubborn enough to stick it out. 

I want to be the best person that I can be. And whilst that makes me kind, I admit it doesn't make me a reliable blogger. So for that I apologise. But please know, I will endeavour to do the best I can, to keep you posted on my exploits in kindnesses, and the things in life I think you might appreciate or understand the most. If through blogging I can help one person in some way to be kinder to another or even themselves, I'll take it! :) 

But thank you for reading this. You took time out of your day to read my words and that is invaluable to me. I cherish your comments, secret kindnesses and enthusiasm for kindness, no matter when, how or why you do it! I appreciate you and your own possibility of becoming the best version of yourself! 

So I will keep doing my kindnesses through everything. Because I'm learning kindness is not a weakness, it requires the greatest strength. I'm learning how to be kind to myself, because that is often harder than being kind to others. And I'm learning how much is still left to be done! 

I wish you all the best of luck in your own kindness endeavours. For those that are doing one of the kindness challenges... Bravo!  I'm so proud of you! Keep up the awesome work. If anyone is interested in starting any of the following, #365DaysOfKindness #52WeeksOfKindness or #12MonthsOf Kindness I'd love to hear from you. You can start at any time! If you need help just comment below on the blog, or follow me on Facebook or Twitter (@DaenaGuest). I'm not always on social media, but I'm still attempting to keep you posted, and I will always try to help as much as possible. :) 

If you want simple ideas check out my Pinterest page under "kindness ideas". I scour the pins for some awesome ideas, stories and motivation and have collated them all there! Hope you find them useful.

Much love to you.

Luv Daena x