Sunday, March 31, 2019

That little voice...

I’ve been away for the last two weeks for work. It’s been busy and crazy and messy. But I’ve met some great people and gotten to know others better. 


I’ve been able to stay in some amazing houses and go to new places. Work is never boring for me. 


However it has meant that I’ve been a bit off my game when it came to posting anything for two weeks. I decided to give myself a little break instead of pushing myself. 


How could I profess kindness and not look after myself? It would be silly.


So I’m doing my best to be kind to myself. But it’s hard not to feel guilty. 


Do you ever feel guilty when you don’t do something you said you would do? Even if you had to so you could care for yourself? I do. Often. 


I think that it comes to some old beliefs about myself that no longer serve me. I often struggle with those deep seated beliefs that say “I’m not good enough” or that “I’m not worthy” of anything. It’s hard to confront that part of me. It comes to a head any time I don’t do what I say I’m going to do. 


I don’t always know how to combat it. I intellectually know that I’m worthy of friendship and love. However, that little voice can be insidious. 


Sometimes I really struggle with being good enough to share anything, let alone share kindness. What does this little white girl originally from Perth, Australia really know about kindness? Nothing. I’ve not done anything so great. Some of the things I’ve done no body remembers (including me) so what makes me think I’m the person to share these things? I don’t know. So I struggle. 


Then I ask myself... how can I be kinder to me? If I’m putting myself down all the time, how can I be Kinder? How can I do what I do for others, but for me?


First I have to change my thinking.


Every time I hear my internal voice telling me I’m not good enough. I quietly listen and then tell it, “thank you for adding in your 2 cents worth but you, YOU are amazing.” I have to be brave. 


I must admit this isn’t always successful. Those negative words are something I’ve told myself on the inside for years. So dealing with them is hard. Rebelling is hard. So I don’t. That little voice that tells me I’m not good enough also tells me it’s too hard to be kind to others let alone yourself. So I do what I can to change my thinking. I can be braver. 


I listen to meditations that encourage a positive mindset and encourage kindness to the self. They work. But not all the time. When that voice is really loud I need more than affirmations. 


I listen to Podcasts like “The Mindful Kind” which gives helpful tips and tricks about how to deal with that voice inside you. It helps me have a healthy outlook. The podcast offers strategies to be kind to yourself too. But you have to put those strategies in action and when I have little energy, it can be hard. 


So, I watch inspiring movies that motivate me to be kinder like “Pay It Forward”. I watch “Hallmark” movies because they make me feel good so I can be nicer to myself because I feel better on the inside. Whilst some might find them a bit too mushie, I really enjoy them. I know comedy is also a great source of changing your mood (just a reminder to myself to stay away from dark humour or otherwise it feeds into my negativity). 


I think these little tricks are like giving my inside self a little mental cuddle. Like you would to a friend who is struggling. Embracing the darkness to reveal the light.


When it comes to mindset with me it really comes down to providing myself with strategies that can subtly fool my inside voice into believing differently. 


I’m not perfect. I need to forgive myself for that. There are ways I’m working on me being a little bit better. A little bit kinder to myself. A little bit kinder to the world. 


Nobody is perfect. And the expectation that you need to be the exception to the rule is dangerous. 


It’s a struggle to embrace that part of you that always criticises you and judges your choices and actions. It needs love and kindness too! 


All you need to do is be Kind and Brave and you can do anything. 


Sending love to you all, 

Love Daena 

Sunday, March 17, 2019

A Note after New Zealand’s Massacre



On this blog we promote Kindness and love. Sometimes it is hard to love those different from ourselves. 


Sometimes it’s hard to even understand those differences. But we need to do our best to embrace them because kindness in the face of difference is where the greatest capacity for healthy change occurs. In ourselves and in others. 


My heart breaks for New Zealand. It hurts even more because I know someone from my home country perpetrated the crime, as though he speaks for me. He does not. 


I’m asking everyone this week to do a Random Act of Kindness and fill the world with Love. If you want to please share your act of kindness with your friends and family. Kindness breeds kindness. So the more who share the kindness the more kindness is shared. 


This week we need more because love eradicates fear. And we have enough fear in our world so let’s turn the tables and bring another person light and love.


I hope this finds you all well. 

Love Daena XX 

Monday, March 11, 2019

40 days of Kindness -Lent Kindness

I’m still healing after a week of being really unwell. I thought I would keep it simple and share my kind deeds for lent.

Day 1: 



Day 2: 



Day 3: 



Day 4:



Day 5: 



Well that’s all for now. 
I hope this finds you all well! 
Sending love, 
Daena XX 

Thursday, March 7, 2019

Kindness for self and Lent

For the last week or so I’ve been quite unwell. Just a cold but it’s been enough for me to have a few days off work and I’m still not completely recovered. 


So I’ve been taking time to rest, heal and recoup. Needless to say, I’ve been able to achieve very little apart from the bare minimum of my own life. To be kind to myself I haven’t pushed myself to get the blog out or do too much else. 

Lent starts today around the world. Traditionally a Christian period of fasting, to represent the 40 days that Jesus wandered the desert and was tested before he made the ultimate sacrifice. 

Lent has evolved into a time when you don’t simply have to give up foods. It is often still a test of willpower. For those who are brave, they bravely give up something they think they cannot live without. It can be anything from giving up meat, to chocolate, fizzy drinks or even social media (which a brave friend is doing this year). Lent ends on Easter Sunday, and people can enjoy their repast again. 

As I grew up in the Anglican Church I’ve used lent in the past to see if I really did need certain things in my life. I’ve given up chocolate, coffee (before the days of insomnia as I’ve now given it up for good), sugar, Diet Coke or soft drinks in general, cakes and sweets, and so much more. 

But another idea for observing Lent is instead of giving something up, you take up something. Like a new habit or service to others. So I thought this year I would play a little game with myself. I might not post every day but I will record and share my 40 days of kindnesses. I want people to see how simple it is to take up acts of kindness. Even if it’s just for lent. This little exercise I am hoping will be motivating for me too. 

So here is day one... 


It might not seem like a bit deal but some days I struggle to go on social media or even take photos. So i know it will be a challenge to me. Which is perfect for observing Lent. 

Anyways, I hope you are well! 
May kindness follow wherever you go! 
Love Daena x