40 days of Kindness -Lent Kindness

I’m still healing after a week of being really unwell. I thought I would keep it simple and share my kind deeds for lent.

Day 1: 

Day 2: 

Day 3: 

Day 4:

Day 5: 

Well that’s all for now. 

I hope this finds you all well! 

Sending love, 

Daena XX 

Questions to ponder

And the winner goes too.... 

The Copy of the book: goes too... Eva D! I have your address so I will send it off in the next few days. Thanks for liking the FB page. Thanks to those who liked and shared the link. It was greatly appreciated. 

There were very few people who participated in the give away. Which is sad because I think it is not only an awesome giveaway but a great kindness workbook. 

To be honest, it has me really pondering what should become of 365days of Kindness. I would be keen for some input from those who actually read this blog (if there are any of you out there?) 

What should this blog look like? 

What would you like to see here? 

Would you like more created content? 

Would you like more interviews with people? 

Would you like more experiences of kindness from others? Or me? 

Would you like to see more of a particular type of kindness? 

Where should we go from here? 

Would you like more videos? 

Would you like more YouTube clips from other Kindness groups?

Would you like a podcast? 

Would you like to see an Instagram account? 

Would you like less? 

These aren’t easy questions for me. For a girl who has been doing a kind deed a day for years now I really want to inspire people to be kinder. 

But honestly, I don’t know how to do that. So...Any feedback would be greatly appreciated. 

Please let me know what you think. 

Love Daena x

Valentine’s Day - not a good day for everyone.

Happy Valentine’s Day! 

Today will be a great day for so many who love Valentines Day. But it will also be a really hard day for others. 

Whilst some are being showered with gifts and love, and others will be happy to avoid it all the fuss, there are some who will see the love and gifts given to others and be sad. They will be sad they aren’t getting the love and attention like that themselves. Whether it’s because their partner doesn’t believe in Valentine’s Day, or has left or passed away or they are partner-less and would like a special someone to shower with love and gifts or be showered with love and gifts. And I’m sure a few other scenarios in between.  

So if you know someone who feels like they are missing out, be kind to them today. Send them a picture or a note (or a little gift if you are inclined to do so) and let them know you appreciate their friendship and love them for that.*

It could be something simple Like this: 

Valentine’s Day is not just a day about romantic love, but all the kinds of love there is.

 So cherish your friendships, siblings, parents, extended family, neighbours, work mates and acquaintances. 

A small gesture could make someone’s day brighter. 

Also, if today is a struggle for you, don’t forget to be kind to yourself too! 

I hope this finds you well. 

Love Daena x

Ps. 

My game needed to be shared too. So cute to make a heart today of all days! ☺️ much love. Xx

PPS. Note: for those who don’t want anything to do with the Valentine’s Day, please respect the space of those who need it. Not everyone loves the occasion. Be kind to them too. 

The first post of 2019 - A Call to Kindness

I bet you have been wondering what has taken me so long? Or if I’ve forgotten what kindness is? No! Absolutely Not! 

The truth is that would be impossible. 

This past year I’ve been working full time and I decided to be thoughtful about what I wanted to share on my blog.

There are a few things that I’ve stuck to in recent years that may continue this year like Sustainable September (but also may not depending on what this year actually brings). 

I am acknowledging my inconsistency with blogging too. I’m not perfect but I’m constantly improving.  Kindness is still so important to me that I keep coming back to it again and again. 

2018 brought with it some HUGE changes for me.  I moved between 3 countries, from Australia to Wales to England. I got 2 jobs (one which I had to leave in order to pursue the other). I moved to 2 new houses in two different counties. I also got myself a new boyfriend (well he’s not so new now... but the first I’ve had in a long time). It brought with it a change in my life circumstances all of which has made my life both easier and harder to bring kindness to peoples lives. 

It’s easier now as I am exposed to a diverse range of people on a daily basis, not many of whom know much about my kindness mission. This makes it quite fun to surprise people with thoughtfulness. 

It can be harder because Archaeology as a career is more often than not back-breaking manual labour. Even though I love it, it wears me out a lot and I come home exhausted regularly. 

However that hasn’t stopped me being kind... 

2019 had already brought with it kindness and encouragement from others for me. 

I’ve continued to joyfully worked to bring a smile to the faces of people I work with, live with and know. 

I wanted to start this year by reminding you that kindness is easy!  AND you can start a year of kindness at any time (even 5 days after New Year like today). If you want to do it don’t let anything stop you, least of all the date. 

So this is a call to kindness if you want to join me. It doesn’t have to be hard. 

For example: 

If you break it down to a weekly kindness schedule : 

Monday’s: smile at a stranger/compliment someone. A compliment could be about their outfit, their adorable pet, their lovely smile, or their ability to keep coming to work everyday when you know they have stuff going on at home or when they are dealing with chronic pain/illness (I have a few friends whose lives are crazy and yet they still show up for me when I need them). 

Tuesday’s: make or buy a hot/cold beverage for someone. it can be offering to get someone a glass of water or remembering and buying them that Double Dirty Chai latte with Coconut Milk they drink on a regular basis. The price or effort is up to you. 

Wednesday’s: take a treat into work to share... it’s hump day on Wednesday and everyone will appreciate a mid-week pick me up (I have been doing this at work - and mostly involved me baking yummy treated on a Tuesday night but this week I took some fruit mince pies in to work (I can’t eat them but they had a packet of 6 fruit mince pies on reduction for £0.05 per back so I grabbed two to make the day more enjoyable for everyone. I got to be kind they got to eat yummy things). If you don’t work regular days etc, make or do something special for your family or friends on a Wednesday if you want to stick to this plan. 

Thursday’s: write a thank you to someone for something good they have done for you. This can be as public as a Facebook post acknowledging their gifts and why you love them so. Or as private as writing them an anonymous hand written note to thank them for generally being a good person. 

Friday’s: do a job or chore for someone else. This can be offering to empty the bin at work or emptying the dishwasher when it’s your housemates/partners turn. It could be raking the leaves for your neighbour, helping them move snow in winter, watering gardens/plants in summer or just checking on an elderly family member/friend/neighbour. 

Saturday’s: Connect with someone you’ve been meaning to contact but keep forgetting to/putting it off. Simply sending a message to a friend or family member that says “I’ve been thinking of you recently, how are things? Hope you are well!” Or writing a letter or email to catch a friend or family member up on all they have been missing in your life. It could be calling someone for a coffee date or organising to go to the movies together. Or it could be sending a care package to a friend in another country (this has made a huge and amazing kindness for me when family and friends have sent stuff my way! 😊). 

Sunday’s: do something to be kind to yourself! This can be having a bath, Reading a book you’ve been wanting to read or even making your favourite tea/coffee/ chocolate/hot Carob drink and taking 5 minutes to sit and enjoy it in silence (yes parents - I know that’s a lot to ask but I hope for your sake you kids sleep sometime!). 

Other things you can do to spice up your kindnesses: 

When it’s someone birthday just send them a message to let them know you know they were born on this day and how special that is to you. If it’s YOUR birthday send a message to your mother (after all she did all the work of growing you inside her for up to 9 months) or a person who has been a mum/parent figure to you to thank them for helping you and keeping you alive this long! Or for teaching you the resilience you needed to stay alive on your own! 

Anytime it’s a special holiday (E.g.  Christmas just gone, Valentine’s, Easter, Hanukkah, Diwali, any festive card giving holiday etc) when you are sending a card, write one thing you are grateful for about that person. It can be hard sometimes but if you think about it, there is a reason you are going to the effort of sending/giving them a card why not make it extra special. 

Do you love books? Do you have a couple extra dollars to make someone’s day? Put some cash (I recommend notes as coins can cause damage to a book) with a post-it note in your favourite book/s at a book shop to contribute to the next person, who opens the book, to purchase it! 

Appreciate the work of those around you like Posties (postmen and women), ambulance workers, Firey’s (fire department workers), nurses, doctors, managers, street cleaners, cleaners in general, garbage men/women, service men and women, retail staff, regular delivery drivers etc. you could always thank them for their work by writing to their work places/ managers to compliment their work or contact these people directly by giving them a thank you note/card. Gratitude is by far one of the nicest and simplest kindnesses around and you can do it verbally or in written form. 

One idea for office workers: 

I like leaving one of our staff little compliments and encouragements at random places in her Post-It Note pad. She knows who does it, but if you were less obvious than I am... You could make it anonymous! Note: I do try to be sneaky but she’s very clever! 

Extra info: 

There are so many ideas if the weekly kindness plan doesn’t work for you! You can check out FB, Instagram, Pinterest, Google and so many places for kindness ideas. 

I am not the first and I won’t be the last to choose to do a kind deed a day. I REALLY WANT people to take this on... it really has changed MY life for the better. And I hope it works for you too! :) 

Here is to another year of kindness. 

Much love to you all, 

Daena x

The gift of joy

I didn't post yesterday, because I fell asleep instead. I really needed the sleep too so it was a win!!! What I wanted to share was the days 4&5 of the gift bag I got from the church ladies. If you read the last 3 blog posts you will be able to see the progression of receiving kindness. Love it. 

Day 4 was a gorgeous purple wrapped gift. 

 

 

It was the gift of perfume. I don't wear perfume so I will pass this on to someone else (or donate to the charity shop). I am blessed to have received a gift though. One that I have happily received, enjoyed opening and can now bless another with its contents. 

Day 5 was sweet too. 

 

  The little book and soap were very much appreciated. I will probably keep both, unless I see someone else has a need greater than my own, to which I will pass it on. I am so blessed to be given something so thoughtful. Someone  mwanted to make my day/week better and they have done that. 

Tonight I had the privilege of catching up with the lady who organised the gift bag for me. So I was very profuse in my gratitude because I appreciate all the well wishes and kindness behind the gifts. Sure it might not all be bits I'll use, but the thought behind it was wonderful. The love, kindness and consideration that went into a gift like that was very much appreciated. It makes a person feel very special. 

I hope you are all going well. A lot of people are on holidays as of now (Easter weekend here in Perth) so stay safe. Sending lots of love to you all. 

Love Daena x

Ps. I've gotten rid of 4 more items of stuff to go in the opshop donation bin. I didn't photograph them all but I'm pleased to have gotten more stuff out of my life to make more space for the activities and people I love. Xx

A Kindness Received

Good day Everyone,

So today my family and I were actually the recipents of a fantastic Random Act of Kindness today.

So I shared it in a video. 

You will have to forgive my fluffy head and dishevelled look. I was not expecting to be going out at all today or recording a video for that matter. So I got into my comfy clothes and didnt even brush my hair this morning. I had a sleep in because I haven't been sleeping well again lately, as a kindness to myself. The cool thing was with our "Mystery Box"... this was a kindness delivered. I didn't have to leave the house except when I was checking out where the box was left (my brother-in-law found it in our carport). 

So this is also a post to THANK whoever did this kind thing for my family and I.

And maybe whereever YOU are, if you know of a family in need, you could do something like this for that family. I know how much this means to me and the rest of my family.

I feel so blessed to have someone around who is supporting us, even if we dont know who it is. Because we have no idea who dropped it off. We have no idea where it came from, or what inspired this generostiy. But it does not matter who, really. We are just so grateful. So very very grateful. Thank you "Mystery Box" Fairy! :) Thank you so very much!

Much love to you all,
and in the words of Ellen "Be kind to one another!"
Love Daena x

Update of my life... 6 months on...

Hey everyone,

You probably haven’t heard from me for a while, and if you are wondering how I am going, well here we go. I am going as well as can be expected...

Last week was the 6^th month anniversary of my fathers death, which also co-coincided with what would have been my mum and dads 37^th Wedding Anniversary. In the weeks to come we are looking at all the things we need to do to create a place to have my dads ashes put.

6 months ago, we got a phone call from my dads nursing home telling us he had passed away in his sleep! We stood vigil around his body, my sister making the trek down the hill to be with us in the wee hours of the morning! I can't believe it has been 6 months! It feels like both days and years since we waited with dad for the funeral home to take him away from the place he had called home for 7 years!

I miss dad so very much! I miss going to tell him about all the good stuff I've done, and talking with him about all the struggles and heartbreak too! He was a fighter & had such an amazing sense of humour! He was stubborn, generous, outrageous and kind!

To my mum, who would have last week celebrated her 37th wedding anniversary with my father too, I love you! So very much! You are so strong even when you have been so broken yourself! You are so loved!!!

My sister & brother in law, thank you for standing beside us through it all when you had so many of your own burdens to bare!

For my niece and nephew... Thank you for the smiles, & tears and the reminders that we need to take things a little less seriously! I love you both!

To my friends both near and far... To my Samwise Gamgee, for helping me, your Frodo, carry that ring to Mordor! Thank you to all of you who helped me get through these last few months! From food drops, dinner outings, care packages, flowers, cards, hugs, kisses, love and amazing kindness! Thank you for holding me together when I felt like I was just pieces of glitter on the wind... To now being a few bigger fragments of my former self! I thank you from the bottom of my heart!

And sadly but finally to those who have spoken to us about "getting over it" or "moving on", I need to say... grieving doesn't work like that!!! We have been broken, shattered by both the illness dad underwent and also his death, then to deal with mums cancer and other things, some small, whilst some were tectonic. These things breaking us into smaller fragments of ourselves, to the point we thought we would end up dust in the wind! The fact we are still in small fragments at all is a celebration! We haven't been ground down, blown away, given up, or lost who we are! But to become a single person again is going to take days, months and years! Every day we miss dad & that won't stop! Not now, not in 10 years, not in 50 years! So please, please don't expect any of us to "get over it" or "move on"! Life is not that simple or that black and white! Please be patient!

What I most want to say is that I love my dad! I am who I am because of him. He lives on in the hearts of those who knew him! I just can't believe it's been over 6 months! Rest peacefully dad I miss you!

Mum, my strong, strong mum,  is recovering from the cancer. 5 months ago she was operated on. And for someone who has no cancer any more, it is amazing how many non-deadly complications there can be. I think I have to say we have almost had them all. I remember before mum had her surgery that the physios said to us that they will continue to care for her for 2 years after the surgery. I remember thinking … 2 years is a bloody long time... why would we need to be here for that long? But it turns out that they treat cancer patients for that long, because people need help for that long. Like mum needs the help. People have made comments that make me cringe, like “because she doesn’t have the cancer any more, means she should be okay now”. I'd like to think it was that simple... but its not. The doctor recently explained it to me, and my mum, that it was like having two amputations. The body reacts so violently when you loose and arm or a leg... and as it turns out... two breasts. Mum has been so courageous through it all. I am so proud of her for her strength. It is true what they say about women ... "You don't know how strong a woman is until you put her in hot water". The best thing that has come out of mum having had cancer is that almost every female friend over the age of 45 has booked in and gone for a mammogram since mums surgery. Which is amazing! If you are a woman over 45 or if you find a lump in your breast (this can be guys too) head to the doctor and get a mammogram or ultrasound.

Mentally I have fought to find the good things, that I know are there. I see my friends and family struggling with so many issues of their own. I just wish I could wrap them all in cotton wool, give them the resources they need and give them the biggest cuddle in the world. Or take away the problems they have like some sort of Kindness Fairy. Sadly the world doesn’t work like that... and if I did start wrapping my friends in cotton wool and taking them away from the things that hurt them... apart from being considered a lunatic... its not very good for those people, my friends. We all need to push past our own issues, and deal with them in their own way, and in doing so grow stronger as a result. Still my heart bleeds for those who are doing it tough at the moment. I send you my love and my hope that things will get better in the future.

I keep my gratitude journals going. 10 things every day that I am grateful for. Sometimes that is harder than others... but there is ALWAYS something to be grateful.

Keeping my gratitude journal going means I also have a continual physical record of all my Kindnesses too. I haven't stopped even through all the craziness in my life. Even though I have mainly stopped blogging in that time, and it has been only with my sisters help that I have kept up the Facebook page. Thanks Vandra! :) 

I have to focus on the positive things at the moment (so I don't get too down)...Which kind of leads me to my next thing. Some awesome news this month was that I got a job. Its only a little job for a short amount of time but its very important to me because it gets me out of the house, (leaving mum in the safe hands of others) and doing something for the greater community.

I have recently started work at the Social Justice Unit for the Uniting Church. Our little unit has, since I have been there, been a part of organising and running a conference on Eco-issues, sustainability and how those who believe in God are called to look after his creation; they have offered homes to children of Asylum Seekers who are living in detention (along with other church groups) (Read more here); and also made statements and stands on Sustainable resources not Uranium (Read more here).

I like to think that all of this work is another form of kindness. Kindness for those that cannot protect themselves (i.e.. Mother earth/Gaia/Gods creation & the human beings who most need our care). I, personally, like to start with sorting things out in our own countries before trying to tackle those in the wider world. It brings me back to one of my dads favourite musicals, Godspell, “How can you pick a speck of saw dust from your brothers eye, when all the time there is a great plank in your own.”

I, personally, have really struggled with the way that the current Australian government is treating the humans & the land in its care. Focusing on money, not kindness. No government is perfect, don't get me wrong, but this particular government seems to be doing more harm than good. So I want to do more kindness to compensate. Of course I don’t have the same money or resource’s the government in Australia has, but I have been looking at ways that the average human can make a difference. I think I might have found a few ways.

Do you think there is any way that us, mere mortals, can make a difference in our own communities for the better? If so, how? If not, why not?

Okay... I bet this wasn’t quite what you were expecting when you started reading... politics. I know politics is always controversial. I don’t like politics much myself, but we can't escape it.

I stand for Kindness. I stand for it every day. And I only want kindness for everyone. I know... it seems like the impossible dream. But someone has to dream it right? So it may as well be me! If you share a similar dream, I would love to hear about it.

Love and Kindness,

Daena Xx

Kindness and all its problems... a rule book of sorts to maintain a healthy state of kindness!

Hello beautiful people,
It was so good to get my words on a page last week, so I am back for some more. But this time for something a little different.

One of the biggest hurdles people have when doing something like 365 days of kindness is that they burn out fast. So I have written a tiny rule book for those who are brave enough to embark on this journey for themselves. And PLEASE try doing a version of this kindness yourselves!!! It really is amazing! :)

One of the reasons that people burn out is that they forget to look after themselves. And I don't mean that they forget to eat or sleep or drink (although Im sure my family could remind me that occasionally I have done all of all these things). Sometimes people forget to be kind to themselves. I forget to be kind to myself too. Most of the time, and particularly lately, I expect too much from myself. Yes, I want to change the world, but that's not going to mean that the world changes overnight! Which is a bummer really because everything would be so much easier if it were that simple, not to mention that much faster! I have been frustrated that I couldn't help someone, or that I didn't see someone that needed help (or at least not until I was thinking about it later ), or sometimes I'm not fast enough to perform an act of kindness and I feel like I'm letting the world down. The reality is I am only ONE PERSON and I am the only one being let down, because I expect so much of myself! Yes, every kindness makes the world a better place, but every kindness you do is one more beautiful thing that exists in the world! After all that lady over there with the heavy shopping, she doesn't expect me to help her with her shopping... That guy in the wheelchair going through the door does not expect me to hold the door open for him (in fact he has become quite adept at doing it without any help), the screaming baby doesn't expect me to stop it crying by making faces at it in the shopping center and neither does the babies mum. I think that is why kindness is so important though, because we do not expect people to perform acts of kindness, that is why they are so powerful. But I need to be kinder to myself. RULE NUMBER ONE: Be Kinder to Yourself! I have started doing a kindness for myself as regularly as possible. It may be buying a new book (yes i still am a bibliophile), or getting a massage, or buying myself a "Soy Chai Latte", or it could be giving myself the morning off from caring for mum by letting myself sleep in(when she needs sleep too), or visiting someone I know will perk my mood up. Yet, it is so important to care for yourself, because if you don't look after yourself, then you will be of no use to anyone... including yourself!!!!

A second pitfall for a kind person is forgetting how blessed we really are. When you are doing things for others a lot, you can see how others live and get jealous or even "preachy" about how people should live their lives. It may seem funny that people who are being Kind all the time can be like this... but it happens. Oh boy, does it happen. I have found myself being jealous of the things I have done for others because I've begun to expect people to do the same things for me. Now this might, to the outsider, seem logical. After all you are giving, therefore you should receive! Right? But to someone who is trying to live the "kind life" its not always this simple. If you always expect the same thing from others, you will be perpetually disappointed. Not everyone is going to want to make YOU a cup of tea in the morning, carry YOUR groceries, bring in YOUR Rubbish/Garbage bin, or buy YOU lunch! After all not everyone has the same wage as you, or want to spend it the same way YOU do. Or have the same ability to brew tea, carry heavy loads or the time to bring in your garbage bin. One of the greatest ways to be a kindness ambassador is to not expect anything from anyone. This is not a rule, just a really helpful note! If you expect it you will be unsatisfied, but if you don't expect something, then it is always always a blessing when something comes your way. I like to think Karma exists, but it might not be a one-for-one deal (as in you do a kind deed and someone does exactly the same in return), and Karma almost never comes the way you want it to or expect it too.
RULE NUMBER TWO: Be grateful! When you are grateful for what you have and what you can do for others you don't have time to be jealous. 

Another problem that adds to the burn out, is that there is often the feeling that you are always giving and never receiving. Yes, we should all give generously, but that doesn't stop us from wanting kindness ourselves. When you are giving all the time it can seem that you are the only one who does this. But its not until you stop and pay attention you realize that other people are doing small kindnesses for you too. I think you all know that I write at least 10 or more things I am grateful for, that happened though out the day, every night before I go to sleep. I follow that up with my Kindness for the day. Recently I started taking account for the things other people do for me because I was so caught up with what I was doing for everyone else. I forgot to look for the things others were doing for me. RULE NUMBER THREE: Pay attention to what others do for you - add this to your blessings everyday! So I started paying attention. Whether it be your best friend who pays for a movie twice in a weekend (thanks Tanya), you sister who takes your mum for a night so you can have a night at your friends (thanks V), a friend who does your washing up after you've made a mess in their kitchen (Thanks Tanya & Kylee), or a friend who compliments you on an awesome job with a blog post (thanks Eva, Terry & Tahlienna), Or someone who gives you the opportunity to try something you have been wanting to do for ages (thanks Taylor). These are a few of my friend blessings that are from this week alone. I got stuck for a while not seeing all the amazing things my family and friends did for me, which was their kindness to me. 

One of the greatest pit falls a kindness ambassador can fall into is judging others and their worth. I have been on a few dozen kindness sites and really struggled with the reactions of some people. Sure, the best/easiest person to be kind to in the world is the ones who obviously need help, ie. Street people, those in financial struggles, the person crying at the shop, underprivileged people etc. One of the things I have noticed is the reaction people have is to those who come from wealthier parts of society. Yes they might have more money, more social status, more ability to do large acts of kindness but just because they have all this, does not mean that we should withhold kindness from them. I am not one who earns lots of money... although I make the most of what I do earn! My annual income is pretty low, yet I still find that EVERYBODY needs kindness. Sure they might not need a $50 gift card from your local supermarket, but they may need your spare change to help them get through the checkout faster. Another group that miss out, are those that are rude to us. Sure their hostility can be a warning, so be careful, but if you can safely ignore it, these people need the kindness more than ever! I once had a drive-thru lady sound rude and curt at the speaker box, others in the car commented on her manner, so i made the extra effort to be super cheery and thank her for her work and for getting our food promptly. The others in the car thought I was nuts, but she needed that! By the time we left, food in hand, she was smiling at least! It may have been because she also thought I was crazy, but if it meant the next car had a smiling server, it was exactly what I was meant to do! There is a quote that I always hear (sadly I don't know the writer) "You never know what people have been through! Everyone is fighting a hard battle".  The hardest part is that sometimes we don't even know we are judging others. So please be careful who you judge as worthy. Everyone is worthy of kindness... that is why it is so powerful and makes such a difference in the world. Not only is withholding kindness a cruelty to others but also to ourselves. We become limited in the impact we can make in the world. RULE NUMBER FOUR: Everybody Needs Kindness.


Okay, so in short my rule book is very simple:
RULE NUMBER ONE: Be Kinder to Yourself!
RULE NUMBER TWO: Be grateful!
RULE NUMBER THREE: Pay attention to what others do for you!
RULE NUMBER FOUR: Everybody Needs Kindness.  

I have been doing this project in its various forms for almost 5 years now. And I encourage anyone who wants to give "365 days of kindness" a go, to do it!!! Give it a go!! Even if you only last a week or a month, that is 7 to 31 more kindnesses in the world! And everyday you do it, that is one more kind deed out there in the world! :) Honestly, it can be hard for the first few weeks, but then you get into a pattern and realize that kindness is just a way of life. Then suddenly its 5 years later and you are doing kindnesses with joy and passion! :)

Think about it! If it is something you want to do, give me a buzz as I can help you out with a few resources! If you want them? You do not have to do a blog about it, you don't have to even keep a record! I like to keep one just to see all the things I have done! But Everyone is different! :)

I hope this helps anyone trying to live a kinder life.
With love and kindness,
Luv Daena

And you thought things couldnt get any crazier...

Hello my beautiful people!

So its just over 3 months since my father passed away. Tomorrow would have been my dads 76th birthday, had he been alive to celebrate it with us. He was a man I will marvel at and cherish in my heart for the rest of my existence.

In the last 3 months its been some kind of crazy. And you thought having a funeral for your dad 3 days before your best friends wedding was full on? Well it got even more wild and dangerous here. 3 days after the wedding my mum went in for a mammogram, 5 days later she was asked to come in to discuss their findings only to discover she had breast cancer. So they gave us a date for the surgery about two weeks later. Mum was hoping she had time to get her head together, but they called a few days later to move the surgery closer. They had gotten the pathology back and the cancer was aggressive... small but aggressive.

So she went into surgery and had a double mastectomy... one breast with cancer one without! They took both because we have a stupidly high number of cases of breast cancer in the family.  We don't know if we have the genes yet... so only then can we (my sister and i) make choices about our own health and long term physical well being.

What I found most amazing was that after having such a radical surgery she was home within 24 hours!!!! Seems crazy right? but its actually because people are more likely to heal in their home environment away from "Sick people" at hospital. She is immuno compromised so she could catch anything at the moment. So it makes sense... just seems weird! lol

So for the first 6 days we had nurses visit daily to check the drains, and eventually (and disturbingly to me) remove them. I don't do blood & bodily fluids well... and that was too much for this little princess to cope with. I was not born to be a doctor or a nurse! Kudos to those of you out there who are!!! You are an amazing group of people.

A HUGE thank you to all those amazing Doctors, surgeons, staff, nurses (both at the hospital and visiting), physios and councilors at the hospital who were just absolutely amazing with my mum and with a pair of very concerned "kids".

My sister and I learned so much about ourselves and about our friends and family. Thank you to all those people who sent us notes, emails, texts, cards, flowers, food, support, love, thinking of you's... they made so much of a difference to us. We are so grateful for all of you! Thank you!

Mums health and recovery has not been simple, by any means. Ive learned some things I never knew before existed with breast cancer "Cording" & "seromas" just to name a few.  But we have got the amazing news that she is cancer free and does not need Chemo or Radio therapy. We are so blessed that they found the cancer so early and were able to remove it before it did some serious systemic damage. Really we are totally grateful... after all I couldn't have lost my mum and my dad in the same year. I think that might literally have killed me.

And through it all my mum has been grieving for my dad. But you wouldn't believe how strong she is. Sure she cried a lot(and continues to on occasion) , but you would too if you had lost your husband and survived breast cancer all in the same month. She is stronger than she thinks she is and I am so proud of everything she has achieved and done for us through all of it. I love you mum! So does Vandra! We are proud of you for just keeping on going... because sometimes that is the hardest part!

One of my favorite quotes, and forgive me for not knowing who said it, but it seems adequate here...
"Women are like tea bags. You don't know how strong they are until you put them in hot water."

 I have had some added complications too with my own health because about now you were expecting this story to be over... after all how much can one family bare?
 *Be warned gentlemen & Squeamish ladies this is a bit gynecological... so i totally understand if you want to skip this next paragraph entirely...*

So the surgery I had last year, to burn some of the Endometriosis off my uterus, was then a success but now my own uterus has decided to fight back. in other words they are pretty sure the Endometriosis is back (WAY SOONER than expected) less than 10 months after the surgery. So the doctor has told me that I need to think about having kids sooner rather than later, because in 5 years or after, with the deterioration of my uterus and the damage the Endometriosis is doing, I might not be able to have kids. So that sucks a bit because I don't even have a boyfriend, let alone a fiance or husband. And I always hoped I would not have kids on my own. My family have been beautiful and have said that if i want to have babies on my own they would support me! Thank you my beautiful people! I'm still not sure a lifetime of commitment (to a baby/child/teen/etc) would be the best way to cure a gynecological issue.

But i am clinging to the hope that my best friend has been beating me with... she has told me of a work colleague who had the same condition and was told the same thing at around the same age as i am now (28)  and who is now 38 and just having a baby! Thanks Tanya... it means so much that you keep giving me hope! Hope... its amazing how it can make such a difference!!!

But wait there is more... we have had 5 funerals in the 3 months. Some anticipated, some not. I have decided I am now getting pretty good at the whole funeral thing. I just hate that I have to loose acquaintances, friends and loved ones to prove I can survive these sometimes funny, sometimes sad, sometimes tragic events. I send great love to everyone who has lost someone dear to them... no matter when. It is not an easy thing.... my deepest condolences.

Would you believe that one of the things that has been getting me through this is the love and support  I have received from this community, and the positive actions people have taken and the small kindnesses we have witnessed through these last few months.

My sister who took on a role as an administrator on the Facebook page whilst I was on my Round the World adventure, has been so supportive in everything I have done. From the first day I decided to try make this project work (in its original form) to now and, I am sure, well into the future, she has encouraged and supported me. Even whilst we have both been grieving and struggling and doing our best to just keep moving forward. Thank you beautiful!

My brother-in-law who has been a quietly strong rock that we have all leaned on at one stage or another this last few months. He looks after his wife (my sister) with love and compassion. And yet he grieves too. After all he was mates with my dad for the 17 years that Vandra and her hubby have been together. And probably a few years before that too. Thanks for all the support Glen. Your energy and enthusiasm with your extracurricular commitments, your kindness to mum, and your quiet words of encouragement really make a difference to me.

Oh the kids. The bringers of light, love and endless joy (ok... and the occasional tantrum)! From my niece being able to walk around with a spoon on her nose (which is Soooooo Epic!!!!) to my nephew calling me to tell me he had his Plate out this afternoon. I love being there for you, and I am so proud of the awesome little people you have become. I love you so much! and thanks for telling me you love me too, even when it might not be "Cool"! Thanks you beautiful ones!!!!


Our family seems to have gone through hell this year. We have been broken into a million pieces and scattered to the wind, only to find that our friends and some family have been catching our fragile pieces and slowly putting us back together. It might not be exactly the same as it was before. But somehow with all the glue and scotch tape used to put us back together we are coming out stronger than before. And that is a blessing.

Thank you to everyone... whether you read this tonight or tomorrow or in 50 years time. YOU are totally and utterly appreciated!!!!!!!

Oh and as for kindnesses... they might not be as exciting as some, after all i am earning my keep as a carer at the moment, but i am still doing them. Every single day! As promised! I hope you are acting with kindness too! :)

with great love to you all...
Luv Daena xxxx

1st of January 2014 -kindnesses

Hey everyone, 

I'm starting this year with a little of a concerted effort! So I will share some of the kindnesses I did today! 

Okay... so last night I was at my best friends new house to help celebrate the new year! I was surrounded by people I know, love & who love me! What more could you ask for right? 

So at 2.30am when my best friend has gone to bed, and everyone else is snuggling down for some shut eye, I go to my task! 

I put all her DVDs on her TV cabinet which has been sitting there for a week  or more (since they moved in) waiting to be done! Both she & her fiancé work long hours & haven't had time to do that job yet! I may also have put them in alphabetical order (that's the OCD tendencies in me coming out)! :) 

Upon waking up this morning she was thrilled! Job well done! 

I also helped another friend bring in a coffee table from her car (which was given to my best friend and her fiancé for their new house)! Kindness from others! Good start for the year so far! 

After getting home, I gave my mum huge hugs and to her happiness I boiled the kettle! I got her a hot cup of tea without asking (twice more today too)! Which basically means she is a very happy chappy! It's lovely that I can make someone so happy with such a simple task! And on occasions I make myself one too! 

So this year has started pretty well!

Thanks you everyone for your support of me last year!!! I really appreciate it!!! 

Last year for me, personally, was full of kindness, adventure & emotional roller coasters! But without the lows you cannot understand the heights to which you reach! 

Gratitude for everything has been such an important part of my life, particularly this last year! It means I can appreciate both highs and lows more... for the lessons they teach and for the adventures to be had along the way!

I wish you all a wonderful new year of hope, happiness & mostly Kindness... Kindness for all! 

With love, 

Daena x

keeping up the kindnesses...

Hey everyone,
I realised that I didn't post anything last week so I thought I had better keep you all in the loop!

Okay so for the last two weeks or so (give or take a few days) my mum has been out of action because of her Iritis. I know that one of the funny stories I posted last time was about this, so I wont explain it all again. Needless to say mum has practically be been blind for a while now, so my responsibilities have gone through the roof... not that I mind, I mean I am a full time carer and a kindness ambassador to boot, its just that my time has been a little more taken up with the practical day to day activities that mum cant do herself! :)

I have also had several special events this last week too. Including a hens day, a wedding where i was the Master of Ceremonies(MC), a baby shower for my childhood best friend, a few birthday parties, a farewell party for a friend moving interstate and that's the things I can think of off the top of my head and doesn't include the regular day to day & weekly activities!

This week I also started a kindness project for my mum too. Recently one of our neighbors did some work in our front garden and cleaned it all up, making it look all pretty and cleaned up the mess of my gardening (im not a very tidy gardener! lol). What really stood out after their wonderful job was our front bench in the porch! Everything else was all clean & pretty looking except the decrepid paint-peeling front bench. Mum and I discussed throwing it out and getting a new one... but after careful consideration I decided it would be more environmentally friendly and cheaper if I just restored the old park bench to its former glory. This has meant I have spent lots of time sanding back the old slats and scrubbing back the ends, then staining and varnishing the slats so that the whole things looks like brand new! and brand new it looks too! :) I am pretty impressed with the job! It was something that mum couldn't do for herself, it gave me a project so I didnt go stir crazy (as mum hasn't left the house much because of her eyes) and also meant that we have a shiny new park bench in our porch! Kindness completed! :) 

This is me doing the second coat of the stain! looks pretty good here! looks even better now! :D

This week has also had me witnessing a few kind deeds... (I love this as it makes me feel like the little things that I am doing is having a knock on effect).

Yesterday our car refused to start so one of our neighbours helped us out by giving us a jump start! Thank you! :) this meant we made it to an important doctors appointment on time & i am really grateful for that!

Also I was very proud of my mum, because yesterday we went to a little cafe we love for afternoon tea and where we were sitting meant I had my back to a couple of ladies who were chatting. I was happily munching on the delicious cake we had ordered, but mum was paying attention. Later as we went to pay mum told the waitress she wanted to pay for the two ladies to have their afternoon tea, as apparently they were concerned about spending too much on afternoon tea and not having enough money for something else. The waitress was thrilled, and told us she would tell them right away. Mum was awesome because she asked the waitress to wait until we had left the store so that they didn't really know who had done it, but that a kind act had been done for them! So proud of my mum!

The last of the kindnesses I witnessed yesterday was by the owner of the little green grocer near our house. Mum and I usually go to the large supermarkets but noticed the special on fruit & veg was much better than in store so we bought all our fruit & veg at the local green grocer. The owner of the store was the one serving us and after we spent quite a bit of money she gave us eggs for free "as a gift" she said. I love the fact that she was so generous! I will be going back to that store not just because of her generosity but because of the good value of their produce, and their excellent customer service! I love that I can also support a local food producer because in recent months I have seen several disappear under mounting costs put upon them by rents and by being unable to compete with the big stores!

Well I think that's probably all from me at the moment! I will be posting the next kindnesses as soon as I have enough time to go through my gratitude diary and type them all out! :D

I hope this finds you well!
Luv Daena x

Gratitude...

Hey everyone,
One thing I wanted to talk about before the end of this year is Gratitude.

For my friends and followers in the US, you have just had Thanksgiving, a special time where you think of all the things you are grateful for.

In Australia we don't have such a day, and I thought this December, in the lead up to Christmas, was the perfect time to think and talk about gratitude.

This year I have truly discovered the importance of gratitude. I have to start by telling you about how I came to this little epiphany. One day when I was shopping, I came across a book. This book was called "The Magic" by Rhonda Byrne, and its not what you may think it is. For my Christian friends who started to freak out at the word of "magic", I need to clarify that this book is about gratitude and how through gratitude we start to see things like we were when we were kids, where the world was magical and all things were possible. It talks about the 'magic' of gratitude.

This book has had a wonderful impact on me. "The Magic" acts like a 28 day work book to help you get out of a negative head-space and encourage you to see the world filled with possibilities. It is 28days so that it becomes a good habit. It goes through various religious scriptures and discusses them alongside quotes from theologists, thinkers, writers, philosophers, historians, presidents, songwriters, poets, journalists, anthropologists, business men & women, emperors, physicists, activists, teachers, coaches, artists and famous personalities

I started doing this in March, and you may be curious as to why it has taken me this long to share it with you, but i have shared it with my family and some friends to see the impact it has on them before i shared it with my online community. Some of you may have already read this book and done the activities, and if you have I would love to hear how its made a change in your lives! I am now happy to share it with you and some of the great things that have happened that have been "magical" to me.

I have really struggled with remaining positive in my life. I don't know how far back you have read these blogs so I don't know if you remember that both my parents have different disabilities. My dad has a rare brain disease called CerebralAmyloidAngiopathy which affects the white matter of his brain and has consequently led to him developing Frontotemporal Dementia.  My mum on the other hand has spinal damage and after several surgeries to help, things have gotten worse not better. And as such I have had to take on the role of Full-Time Carer for my mum. My dad is in high-care in a nursing home which we visit regularly. Both parents also have diabetes, so pain management and BSL management are two things as a carer i have to balance.

These realities have not changed. But my outlook towards them since reading "The Magic" has.

I wake up every morning and thank God/the universe that I woke up at all.

I also wake up and am grateful for even the smallest bit of sleep I had because a few years ago I was diagnosed with Insomnia and any sleep is precious.

I am grateful that I still have both my parents, because even though they aren't in peak physical/mental condition they still encourage me to be the best I can be.

I am grateful for the love and generosity they both bestow on me because they still can.

I am truly grateful for my sister, brother-in-law and their kids, because they remind me that I am loved. And that my life is sometimes very simple because I don't have to worry about kids, work times, school times, sport times, mortgages, etc.

I am grateful for my sister & Brother-in-law because they also look after mum when I need a break, or have other commitments.

I am grateful for my best friend, Tanya, because no matter how many times I share the same issues and troubles, she listens and provides suggestions. She doesn't judge me for some of the choices I have made along the way. She also encourages me to be apart of big volunteering events (shes the one who got me into Telethon and Relay for Life), and encourages my health & fitness (she started a netball team that I now play in) and she supports me when I struggle in the simplest ways.

My adoptive aunts are two women who I am grateful for. Both of them have supported me financially in the past with bills and unexpected travel expenses. Without them I would have drowned under financial pressures. Not to mention their love and support of mum and I.

I am grateful for all those people in my life who listen to me, encourage me to be positive, who listen when I am at breaking point and who stand with me, when I feel like I will fall.

I am truely blessed that I have 365days-of-kindness to focus on, because it continues to surprise and encrouage me to make a difference in the world.

I am truly happy that I look at this Blog and see how many people check it out in one day, how my exploits are travelling across the world, how I get excited when people "Like" the 365days-of-kindness Facebook Page (can you believe im at 79 "likers"? AWESOME!)

I am grateful that my attitude to money has changed because saving has become a priority and luxuries (that honestly, i don't really NEED) have to come second. I am no longer ashamed of how my money comes to me because I used to think that people would look down on me if they knew that I was paid by the government through Centrelink (the welfare agency in Australia). I earn my money, I am not a "dole bludger", as I have been called in the past.

I am grateful that i have the ability to look after mum because of Centrelink and that we have such a supportive agency in Australia.

Every day I sit down and write 10 things I am most grateful for in the day. Sometimes I write more than ten (because I just can't leave out any of those awesome things). I also record my kindness for that day after all my blessings. It looks kind of like this...

This is a photo taken from my Gratitude journal! Sorry about the quality, and the terrible handwriting! :) lol!

My life has not changed greatly. But there are a few things that have. I am now debt free. I owed about $3000 to family and I have finally paid that back (the majority of the money i have paid back since March!) and still have managed to save money ready for next year when i have an international wedding to attend. I am excited as its 5 years since i have been debt free!

Also, when I wake up in the morning I am no longer afraid to face the day. I used to wake up and be afraid of the "next disaster" to befall our family! But I now wake up and think of the good things I have before me, not the possibility of horrors. To me these are the miracles I have gotten out of the book.

I am so grateful for my life, my passions, my family, my friends, my communities, and people like you who read this and are inspired to do kind things in the world! :) Kindness and gratitude make the world a better place, even if its just our perception of it! :)

Thank you for reading this blog. I hope you get as much out of it as I do. It is a motivation that keeps me going on hard days. Brightening someone else's day also brightens your own! 

Have a wonderful day,
Luv Daena x

p.s. If you want to get a copy of "The Magic" and live in Australia - they are the cheapest ($10AUD) at Target! :) Or you can check out this link to the book depository (FREE INTERNATIONAL SHIPPING! yay).