A new kindness idea... for books!

I have been reading prolifically. I’ve been purchasing about 10 books a fortnight from charity shops. I must admit that most of them are Romance. I like to think part of it is research. I love writing and have for years and have been reading and writing romance for years. None of it is publishable yet, but I love to read them to see what types of stories I want to write. What I enjoy and how different people tell their stories. I am blessed to have a few family friends who are prolific and published Romance authors and Life lit writers. They are very successful at it too.

So I read Romance stories a lot. Which leads me to think about what to do with these books once I’ve finished with them. 

In the past I’ve been giving those books to a friend for her to read. My friend just got herself a new job and is moving to London in a few days! 😭😭😭 I’m going to miss that girl. 

But it leaves me with a question as what to do now with my large collection of romance novels. Not many other people have the same taste in books as I do. So finding someone else to read them has been harder. 

I no longer feel the need to keep all the ones I’ve read however I have kept a couple that I really enjoyed as inspiration. 

So, I decided to do something with a lot of the books I’ve been getting. I’m leaving them for people on public transport. Like this one.

“I’m in no mood for love” by Rachel Gibson was a sweet story of a woman getting over the heat break of discovering her fiancé in bed with another person, the washing machine repair man. 

I liked this book because it was set over a longer period of time. Not a couple days like a lot of the other books I have read recently. It is still a fast paced story with the two protagonists being writers in different genres. And it’s a lot of fun. It’s kind of a sweet romance rather than hot an steamy. 

I left a little note for someone to find. I was visiting a friend in London. For me to get from Reading to London it takes a 30 minute train ride to get there ( I don’t know why I don’t go to Reading more often). 

So fun to leave the book on the train on my way to London. :) 

I must admit I did wait till almost everyone else was off the train to leave it there.  

Here is a great kindness idea for you to enjoy! 

Love Daena x 

The cookie...

Today on Facebook I shared the story of a woman who helped another younger woman  with epilepsy. What does this have to do with a cookie you might ask? Well hang in there and I’ll tell you. 

Let me sum up the story of those two women (for those who didn’t see the post). Read here is you want to see the story in full! 

Erynn was travelling home on the train when she was approached by a young woman. The young woman was holding out a piece of paper that said “seizure plan”. The younger woman knew she was about to have a seizure and was needing a little support and asked Erynn to stay with her until Erynn was going to get off for her stop. The young girl had moved her purse and folded her scarf to catch her own head when the seizure started. Erynn (chose to miss her train stop because she wanted to make sure the girl was okay) read the seizure plan and followed it. It became her anchor. Erynn times the seizure as directed. After 3 minutes the young woman comes around and they chat briefly before having a second seizure. The seizure plan becomes an anchor again as it explains the young woman has these seizure one to four times a day and means that sometimes they can last up to an hour. “Just think about that for a second. Think about being randomly completely vulnerable multiple times a day, and this is just... every day.” 

When the young woman comes around again she is so tired she just wants to go home. So that’s what Erynn helps her to do. She doesn’t call the ambulance or leave her in the hands or someone else, because that isn’t what she needed. In fact it could have made it worse as loud noises and flashing lights are triggers for her seizures, and both are common with ambulances. Plus, it would undoubtedly cost money and get her further away from her home. This is a daily occurrence for the young woman. She seizes a few more times under Erynns watchful gaze. Each time the young woman carefully tucks her scarf under her head. 

Erynn could have so easily made it someone else problem. But that’s not what the young woman needed. She needed to be supported. All the young woman asked of Erynn was to be accommodated until Erynn needed to get off the train. But Erynn went beyond that. 

The young woman needed a lot more kindness than she asked for.  Erynns post calls us to be a kinder community to everyone and not just be ‘accommodating’ because that is how as a community we thrive. 

“Accommodation is the bare minimum. If I sat with her until my stop and then left, that’s what accommodation looks like.

It’s not good enough. Not for me, not for her, not for community and not for our world.

Build something better, folks. Build a better world.”

We are a community. We are not separate from other living beings ( I’m no hermit even if somedays I feel like one). 

This post has me think about how we accommodate others and how we can take that next step to kindness. 

It’s not easy. But everyone needs kindness. 

It doesn’t matter if they are rich, poor or somewhere in between. It doesn’t matter if they are socialy inept or socially proficient or if they avoid society all together, like a hermit. It doesn’t matter if they are black, white, pink, yellow, grey, rainbow coloured or are covered in tattoos. It doesn’t matter what ability level they have or challenges they face. It doesn’t matter if they have differing religious or political beliefs to us. It doesn’t matter what circumstances... EVERYONE needs gentle kindness. Everyone has the need to be seen and heard. Everyone has the need to be loved.* and it reminded me of a cartoon I saw recently... about a cookie. 

Kindness helps build community and connects us to each other. It is both profoundly powerful and fairly simple. If it is safe to do so, always be kind. When it’s hard to do it, be kind. When it is easy to do it, be kind. But challenge yourself, as I will challenge myself to go beyond accommodating others and work towards gentle kindness. 

Be brave and be kind! 

Love Daena x


*Everyone wants love and kindness. I also know not everyone you meet will be kind to you. Love bravely and act kindly but use both your intuition and your head to make cleverly kind choices. You can be safe and still challenge your own social predispositions towards other peoples, cultures, religions, sexes, creeds, abilities and genders so you can make wise and kind choices! Good luck! 😘❤️

40 days of Kindness -Lent Kindness

I’m still healing after a week of being really unwell. I thought I would keep it simple and share my kind deeds for lent.

Day 1: 

Day 2: 

Day 3: 

Day 4:

Day 5: 

Well that’s all for now. 

I hope this finds you all well! 

Sending love, 

Daena XX 

Kindness for self and Lent

For the last week or so I’ve been quite unwell. Just a cold but it’s been enough for me to have a few days off work and I’m still not completely recovered. 

So I’ve been taking time to rest, heal and recoup. Needless to say, I’ve been able to achieve very little apart from the bare minimum of my own life. To be kind to myself I haven’t pushed myself to get the blog out or do too much else. 

Lent starts today around the world. Traditionally a Christian period of fasting, to represent the 40 days that Jesus wandered the desert and was tested before he made the ultimate sacrifice. 

Lent has evolved into a time when you don’t simply have to give up foods. It is often still a test of willpower. For those who are brave, they bravely give up something they think they cannot live without. It can be anything from giving up meat, to chocolate, fizzy drinks or even social media (which a brave friend is doing this year). Lent ends on Easter Sunday, and people can enjoy their repast again. 

As I grew up in the Anglican Church I’ve used lent in the past to see if I really did need certain things in my life. I’ve given up chocolate, coffee (before the days of insomnia as I’ve now given it up for good), sugar, Diet Coke or soft drinks in general, cakes and sweets, and so much more. 

But another idea for observing Lent is instead of giving something up, you take up something. Like a new habit or service to others. So I thought this year I would play a little game with myself. I might not post every day but I will record and share my 40 days of kindnesses. I want people to see how simple it is to take up acts of kindness. Even if it’s just for lent. This little exercise I am hoping will be motivating for me too. 

So here is day one... 

It might not seem like a bit deal but some days I struggle to go on social media or even take photos. So i know it will be a challenge to me. Which is perfect for observing Lent. 

Anyways, I hope you are well! 

May kindness follow wherever you go! 

Love Daena x

Questions to ponder

And the winner goes too.... 

The Copy of the book: goes too... Eva D! I have your address so I will send it off in the next few days. Thanks for liking the FB page. Thanks to those who liked and shared the link. It was greatly appreciated. 

There were very few people who participated in the give away. Which is sad because I think it is not only an awesome giveaway but a great kindness workbook. 

To be honest, it has me really pondering what should become of 365days of Kindness. I would be keen for some input from those who actually read this blog (if there are any of you out there?) 

What should this blog look like? 

What would you like to see here? 

Would you like more created content? 

Would you like more interviews with people? 

Would you like more experiences of kindness from others? Or me? 

Would you like to see more of a particular type of kindness? 

Where should we go from here? 

Would you like more videos? 

Would you like more YouTube clips from other Kindness groups?

Would you like a podcast? 

Would you like to see an Instagram account? 

Would you like less? 

These aren’t easy questions for me. For a girl who has been doing a kind deed a day for years now I really want to inspire people to be kinder. 

But honestly, I don’t know how to do that. So...Any feedback would be greatly appreciated. 

Please let me know what you think. 

Love Daena x

Give away... 100 Days of Kindness

Kindness week has just passed us by and so did the international day of Random Acts of Kindness (it was yesterday).

 I wanted to mark the occasion some how and seeing as I somehow let the day slip by completely unnoticed I thought I would do my Random Act of Kindness today instead. I thought a give away would be wonderful. 

I decided that my Random Act of Kindness would be to give a book to a random follower of this blog and the Facebook page. 

The book I chose is actually a kindness workbook. It’s called “100 Days of Kindness” and I bought it from Paperchase (a stationary company here in the UK for those who don’t know it). 

It’s beautiful. There are two ways to use it too. One you can work through the work book in chronological order 1-100. 

Or you can do a kindness a day that you choose randomly from the book and when you fill in the pages you include the date you did it. Kind of like a random act of kindness lucky dip! 

I will happily send this book to someone at the end of next week. I’ll contact you here or Facebook for your postal address if you are the one who will receive this Random Act of Kindness*. I’ll draw a name out of a hat on Sunday.  

The only request I ask is you like the Facebook Page and/or leave a comment below for your chance to be the lucky recipient

Not sure what to say? How about letting me know what kindness you have done for someone else? I always love to hear that! 

I hope you had a great kind week! 

Much love to you all, 

Daena 

*I will not use your address for any other purpose than sending the package to you. I don’t sell or pass on any personal information. I just want you to know I will treat your information kindly. 👍☺️👍

Why I didn’t celebrate Australia Day

I want to talk about Australia Day. 

Sure, it’s the type of day that people want to celebrate all the achievements and successes attributed to the Australian nation and its individuals alike. 

When you are far away from home, like I am at the moment, it’s so important to feel like you are connected to what’s going on back home. Or at least that is my experience. But I didn’t celebrate Australia Day here, yesterday... not yet anyways. 

The big problem with Australia Day, as it is, is what it stands for for those peoples whose families were in Australia before colonisation. Right now Australia Day is January 26, and is also known as Invasion Day by many Indigenous Australians. 

Here is some history behind it... 

Before January 26, 1788, “Aboriginal peoples had been living for more than 60 000 years on the continent we now know as Australia. At least 1600 generations of these peoples had lived and died here.” (Kwan, 2019).

January 26 marks the day in 1788 that the British claimed the eastern seaboard of Australia and claimed sovereignty over it. It was known as New Holland at the time. On January 1, 1901, Australias states and territories came together and became a Federation, marking it the Australia that we know it as today. It started out being a day of celebration and unity for white Australians. It wasn’t until 1935 that all states and territories even adopted the term ‘Australia Day’. On top of that it wasn’t until 1994 that it became a consistent date marked by a public holiday by all states and territories (Wikipedia, 2019). 

The date is so contentious because it marks the start date of atrocities against Indigenous Australians, including enslavement, destruction and genocide. It is referred to as ‘Invasion Day’ or ‘Survivors Day’ acknowledging the generations of those who have and continue to live through racism and hate. Many issues for indigenous issues are ongoing including excessive incarceration rates and short life expectancy compared to other non-indigenous people (Russel, 2018; Australian Government, 2018). Sadly, Racism and Xenophobia exist in Australia toward many peoples, including Indigenous Australians. 

I, personally, struggle with anything that actively hurts people. After all, this is a blog about kindness.

This year I decided not to Celebrate... yet. 

However, I think another date would be kinder and more logical. 

A different date would NOT be a day marking the death and destruction of Indigenous people’s and culture. 

It could help everyone celebrate the unity and celebration of what is modern Australia in a more responsible and all together kinder way to ALL those who call Australia home. 

It would prioritise inclusiveness, community and kindness for all. 

Like many, I advocate for the new date to be May 8 (or Maaate). After all Australia does pride itself on mateship. 

 I saw this amazing video from Jordin, an awesome Indigenous Australian comedian, about why we should change the date to May 8. 

It’s clever, funny and gives this privileged white woman a tiny little glimpse into why it would be kinder to all to change the date. 

So, I’m going to be celebrating my Australia Day on May 8! Hopefully the weather is warmer here in England by then, so I can crack open the BBQ and throw some ‘prawns’ on, and some lamb and even some decent sized mushrooms for my vegan friends. I want to celebrate the memories I have of my home back in Australia as a kinder, and more inclusive, multicultural place to be. On a day that doesn’t make others suffer. 

I know that Australia Day is not a simple topic to write about. It’s not simple by any stretch of the imagination. But perhaps a new date will be a small step in the right direction. 

I hope you are all well,

Love Daena x

References 

Australian Government, 2018, Deaths in Australia, accessed from: https://www.aihw.gov.au/reports/life-expectancy-death/deaths/contents/life-expectancy

IndigenousX Pty,Ltd, Twitter post: Tweets, https://indigenousx.com.au

Jordin, 2017, Change Australia Day to May 8, Maaaaate, accessed from: https://youtu.be/tV57_pRGToU

Kwan, E. 2019, History of Australia Day, accessed from:https://www.australiaday.org.au/about-australia-day/history/

Russell, S. 2018, As Indigenous incarceration rates keep rising, justice reinvestment offers a solution, The Conversation, accessed from

http://theconversation.com/as-indigenous-incarceration-rates-keep-rising-justice-reinvestment-offers-a-solution-107610 

Wikipedia, 2019, Australia Day, accessed from:https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Australia_Day