That little voice...

I’ve been away for the last two weeks for work. It’s been busy and crazy and messy. But I’ve met some great people and gotten to know others better. 

I’ve been able to stay in some amazing houses and go to new places. Work is never boring for me. 

However it has meant that I’ve been a bit off my game when it came to posting anything for two weeks. I decided to give myself a little break instead of pushing myself. 

How could I profess kindness and not look after myself? It would be silly.

So I’m doing my best to be kind to myself. But it’s hard not to feel guilty. 

Do you ever feel guilty when you don’t do something you said you would do? Even if you had to so you could care for yourself? I do. Often. 

I think that it comes to some old beliefs about myself that no longer serve me. I often struggle with those deep seated beliefs that say “I’m not good enough” or that “I’m not worthy” of anything. It’s hard to confront that part of me. It comes to a head any time I don’t do what I say I’m going to do. 

I don’t always know how to combat it. I intellectually know that I’m worthy of friendship and love. However, that little voice can be insidious. 

Sometimes I really struggle with being good enough to share anything, let alone share kindness. What does this little white girl originally from Perth, Australia really know about kindness? Nothing. I’ve not done anything so great. Some of the things I’ve done no body remembers (including me) so what makes me think I’m the person to share these things? I don’t know. So I struggle. 

Then I ask myself... how can I be kinder to me? If I’m putting myself down all the time, how can I be Kinder? How can I do what I do for others, but for me?

First I have to change my thinking.

Every time I hear my internal voice telling me I’m not good enough. I quietly listen and then tell it, “thank you for adding in your 2 cents worth but you, YOU are amazing.” I have to be brave. 

I must admit this isn’t always successful. Those negative words are something I’ve told myself on the inside for years. So dealing with them is hard. Rebelling is hard. So I don’t. That little voice that tells me I’m not good enough also tells me it’s too hard to be kind to others let alone yourself. So I do what I can to change my thinking. I can be braver. 

I listen to meditations that encourage a positive mindset and encourage kindness to the self. They work. But not all the time. When that voice is really loud I need more than affirmations. 

I listen to Podcasts like “The Mindful Kind” which gives helpful tips and tricks about how to deal with that voice inside you. It helps me have a healthy outlook. The podcast offers strategies to be kind to yourself too. But you have to put those strategies in action and when I have little energy, it can be hard. 

So, I watch inspiring movies that motivate me to be kinder like “Pay It Forward”. I watch “Hallmark” movies because they make me feel good so I can be nicer to myself because I feel better on the inside. Whilst some might find them a bit too mushie, I really enjoy them. I know comedy is also a great source of changing your mood (just a reminder to myself to stay away from dark humour or otherwise it feeds into my negativity). 

I think these little tricks are like giving my inside self a little mental cuddle. Like you would to a friend who is struggling. Embracing the darkness to reveal the light.

When it comes to mindset with me it really comes down to providing myself with strategies that can subtly fool my inside voice into believing differently. 

I’m not perfect. I need to forgive myself for that. There are ways I’m working on me being a little bit better. A little bit kinder to myself. A little bit kinder to the world. 

Nobody is perfect. And the expectation that you need to be the exception to the rule is dangerous. 

It’s a struggle to embrace that part of you that always criticises you and judges your choices and actions. It needs love and kindness too! 

All you need to do is be Kind and Brave and you can do anything. 

Sending love to you all, 

Love Daena 

A crazy Week - podcasts to inspire kindness & growth

I’ve had one of the craziest weeks. 

(I’ve been everywhere Man! The view from the work van this morning as the sun rose through the trees) 

Last Monday morning I left for a work stay away in Dorset. I was up at 4.30am on Monday and got to work at 9.30 by train. I worked on a quarry site for 5 days and then when it was time to leave work, I left at 2pm on Friday to get my train, to only walk in the door at 8pm at my boyfriends house in Wales (this did NOT include a stop at home in Reading). 4 trains, a few delays and some time for me to avoid getting rained on. Then I had one full day (Saturday) with my boyfriend before getting 2 trains (& a replacement bus) to get back to Reading by 6pm Sunday night only to be up at 5am Monday morning to get back to the office and I got to site at 9.30am yesterday, because we drove instead of train-ing it. I worked hard yesterday and today. My mum had some surgery early hours (for me) this morning and I had a few other commitments to juggle too. But all in all, I am happy and healthy, and so is mum back in Aus, so that’s what’s really important. 

I hope you’ll forgive me for getting the post done a few days late. I’ve been aiming to post a blog once a week. So far so good! 

There has been plenty of opportunities for kindness this past week including paying for a taxi, helping a mate out with money for a few unnecessary but nice little luxuries, smiling at strangers, talking to people at train stations and helping those who are lost (after I had gotten lost - using that knowledge to help others), doing washing up for others, cleaning up mud (a constant issue with Archaeologists) in the work share house, paying for parking, sharing food and so many more opportunities for kindness. 

I see so many opportunities for it yet I can always see opportunities for more. 

What is something close to your heart that you would love to share that is kind? 

Do you support a charity? 

Do you work with a community group? And online network that helps to be kind? 

What are the things that sustain you and your interest in being kind? 

I ask because I have a few things I consume that help me be the best me and help me to be kinder. 

My work (as an archaeologist) often means that I have long and boring hours on the opposite side of a site from other people. It’s the not-so-glamorous side to archaeology that people often forget to mention when you are watching Indiana Jones and imagining that will be your life! Just kidding. But they should mention the occasional boring nature of the work when you go to Uni. I don’t mind it really, but I know it’s not for everyone! 

What I do have though is, time! Time to listen. So I Listen to lots of music and podcasts. I do my best to find ones that inspire me and make me think about the world more generously. 

One such podcast is simply called “The Kindness Podcast”. I’ve been following this from day one. It’s an American based podcast but there is an opportunity to call in and share your own stories of kindness, which I appreciate. Plus the host interviews some awesome and interesting people going about living kinder lives in a range of ways. Each episode is about 20-25 minutes long 

Then when I want to focus on my mental health and being kinder to myself I listen to “The Mindful Kind” by Rachel Kable. This is a really sweet and short podcast about how to be more mindful and ... yes, Kind. It provides practical tools and tricks to help you get started to living a more mindful life. It is between 8-12minutes long and Is just a really nice show.

When I realise I’m acting like a chicken with its head cut off I know it’s time to SLOW-DOWN and so I listen to the “SlowHome” podcast with Brooke McAlary. I really appreciate this podcast because it helps me get grounded in what is really important to me and when I’m grounded I can be a better advocate for Kindness. Episodes can range from 35-70 minutes. But usually I’m so hooked on the episode that I forget the length of the episodes. 

“Optimal Living Daily” with Justin Mulik is a really great way to listen to blog posts kind of like a daily audiobook. I’ve heard essays and blogs from people I’ve meant to follow up on on a range of subjects. I haven’t had the chance to read the blogs myself so I feel like he gives me a great and varied look at self development. For me I want to keep learning how to be the best human I can be, in a range of ways from a range of different perspectives. Including how to be kinder. The best thing is the diversity because what works for some may not work for others and it’s like that with this podcast. I’ve found episodes that resonate and hit my souls to the core, some than make me think about life more deliberately and some I could happily ignore and be better for it. I enjoy the range of perspectives from a range of authors as you can try ideas on like shoes, if you like it and it fits in your life - keep it. If not, leave it behind. These episodes can range from 6-12 minutes. They do have advertising at the beginning and end but I skip through that. But if that puts you off, I understand - know you can become a Patrion supporter and get the podcast advertising free. It’s on my “to do” list when I’ve finished paying off some debts. 

Others that deserve a passing mention here because I listen to them when I’ve run out episodes from the above list are 

• The Lavendaire Lifestyle - which is a great one for figuring out how to live your best life and sculpt the life you want. (Episodes are about 20 mins)
• Oprah’s Supersoul Conversations - Some of these are a great conversation into Kindness. I enjoy listening to the diverse collection of people interviewed and the range of topics. (Episodes are approx 30mins)
• The 10% Happier Podcast - is all about meditation and how meditation has helped the host, Dan Harris, become just 10% Happier on the whole. It’s both facinating and challenging as he talks to people of a range of backgrounds and experiences who all meditate and why. It can be a little academic at times but when you listen for a while you get better at understanding what they are talking about when it gets into some of the extreme Yogis etc. (Episodes are approx 60mins long. 

For those looking for a wildcard - this is for those interested in archaeology 

“Women in Archaeology” is a great and interesting podcast looking at a range of issues that female (& male) archaeologists deal with in both academic and commercial arenas. It’s been fun learning whilst work. This helps me be a better Archaeologist on the whole because I have learned a lot about the experiences of my peers in the field. It’s based in America but often they discuss the international consequences and influences which is great. 

These are not the only things I do to get me inspired but I feel like maybe I can put some other resources together for next week. 

Let me know of any good podcasts that can help me and any others reading this to live kinder. Or give us ideas and keep us inspired. Some days are harder than others to be kind so having a resource to help remind us why it is important is crucial to me completing another 365days of Kindness. 

I hope this finds you all well. 

Much love to you all, 

Love Daena xx

Sustainable September 2017 - Day Twenty Two

SEPTEMBER 22 (FRIDAY)

CLEANING - CLOTHES DRYING 

Hi everyone,

Apologies for the late Sustainable September post. I've been a bit unwell and I've been unable to get my post out as early as I would have liked. I'm always working to be the best I can be. I always talk about being Kind to yourself, so I'm taking time now and being kind to myself. Whilst also getting this done! Hence being late. 

I went to the Wasteless Pantry today and bought myself some Soap Nuts. If you are interested in finding out more, look at yesterday's post. 

This little jar should last me quite a while! And when the nuts get brittle they can go in my compost bin, so they are basically Waste free. Yay! 

Today's idea is again on this weeks theme of cleaning. 

Sustainable September Day Twenty Two: dry your clothes in the sun. 

Did you know that the sun has the ability to disinfect your laundry? Well you do now! It is great to simply & safely kill bacteria without the use of harsh chemicals. 

It is also a really a simple power saving (& therefore money saving) tip. 

Want more reasons to dry your clothes on the washing line? Check out this website... The Spruce. It has some awesome ideas too. 

ACTIVITY: Hang your washing out to dry. If not outside (it's been raining here this week) then inside on a drying rack! By reducing the amount of power you use by putting on the electric dryer you are helping the planet by reducing the amount of fossil fuels needed to power it. 

Not sure how to hang something? Then here is a handy little guide to help you line dry your clothes. 

Hope that's everything you need for today. I love keeping it short and sweet. 

Like me, I hope you are being kind to yourself. Look after yourself. Eat healthy, do some exercise, drink plenty of water and get some sleep. Like I plan to do... right now. Please don't forget that the reason we do Sustainable September is because we want to be kind to our planet and all those who live here! That includes ourselves!

Enjoy. 

Love Daena 

Last but not least - day 7 of the gift bag

That's it. I've opened all the presents I was given in my gift bag from the ladies at mums church. It lasted me a week, as intended. Whilst I'm passing on most of the things in the bag, I know just how blessed I am to receive a gift of kindness like this. 

 

  

I was thrilled to have read all of this little book already (took me half an hour). It even had a lovely part in the book about Kindness. So I photographed it to share here. 

  

So cool. It's lovely how this group of women (who gave me the gift bag) unintentionally shared with me something so close to my heart. They shared, showed and expressed Kindness. 

I also took a photo of all then Little bible verses like I promiesed. If you wanted to use them, to make your own gift bag to give to someone, you can. Or you could come up with quotes that inspire you with kindness and generosity. 

 

I grew up in the Christian church and as I've gotten older I have met a variety of people from so many religions. I have also met many who don't believe in religion or believe in a god either. All these people have so much to offer me in expanding my horizons and I am learning what means the most to me. Kindness in all its forms to all people.

I've come to the conclusion that whilst I am most comfortable in the Christian faith (Specifically the Anglican Church as I grew up in its churches, & I have worked for the Uniting Church, and volunteered for the Salvation Army too), I find that the words of Dalai Lama most profound "my religion is kindness". 

 

I just wanted you to know that no matter who you are, where you are, what you believe, or who you pray to, that if you act with kindness and show love towards others ... we share the same values. Often this world is filled with separation, dividing us by colour, faith, country, sexuality, ability and so much more. We are all human. We bleed red blood. We have happiness and sorrow in common. We must breathe air and drink water to survive. We must eat to live. In our basic needs we are all the same. 

My want in this world is to make the world a better place. To bring kindness and understanding, hope and compassion to everyone of this earths occupants. I also know I am human. Sometimes I get it wrong, sometimes I judge people without realising, sometimes I fall short of the expectations I place on myself, or expectations others have of me. But I do and will continue to do my best. 

There is a quote I love: "Do the best you can. When you know better, do better" (Anon). That is what I am working on. Doing the best I can. Then doing better. 

Have a lovely weekend. For those when celebrate it... have a happy and safe Easter. For those who celebrate other religious holidays around this time (many of which have already passed)... may you have love in your heart and be shown great kindness by all you meet. 

#KindnessForAll

Love Daena xx

Lent gifting day 38 & 39

Sometimes we have great plans and sometimes it just doesn't happen. 

I've been working really hard to post daily but it didn't quite go to plan yesterday. Yesterday I took my niece down to the park and when I was there I got the starting of a migraine. My sister thankfully was on her way from work so she was able to swing past and pick us both up and take us home. 

By the time I got home I was nauseous and by the time I had had a chance to fill up my water bottle and make sure I had an ice pack I was vomiting. Great topic of conversation, I know. Hehehe. I then proceeded to sleep from 5pm to 11.30am when I was taken to the doctor and then back to bed until almost 6pm. I had basically spent 24 hours in bed (excluding the time I was at the doctors). 

 

Needless to say, by this evening I felt much better, although not 100%. But I got sick and tired of being in bed so I got up. I Had dinner with my family, watched some tv (fairly quietly) with the adults in my family and played a game of cards with my brother in law. All with my sun glasses on! 

Even though I was sick I didn't forget I had to do two days worth of blog posts. I'm making it short and sweet today because I need to. 

Yesterday's giving was another toy. 

 

I've had this "baby" doll for as long as I can remember. But I don't need it anymore and I know there is some little kid out there who will love her like I did when I was younger. So I think she would be in better hands than mine where she can be loved and appreciated. 

 

Today's act of kindness and gifting is also a toy. A "Big Bang Theory" kitty cat called "soft kitty". When you press its paw it sings the soft kitty song that Sheldon makes Penny sing when he's sick in the TV show "Big Bang Theory". See the clip below. 

I was actually given two of these toys a couple of years ago. My niece loved one so much that she used to use it all the time when I didn't live with her. She would crawl into the guest bed with the Soft Kitty and play it over and over and over and over again. The batteries almost died in it from being played so often. She loved it and it apparently reminded her of me. So when she was feeling bad she would climb into the bed I used and hug my toy. Kind of cute. But since I've been living in the same house she has been hugging me and not the toy so it's time to give it up. 

  I gave one away a few months back. But I thinks it's time I pass this cutie off as well. If my niece got some much out of it when she was younger, someone else will love it too. 

I want to make people's lives better. If by giving away some of my stuff I can do that then I am thrilled to. 

My Lenten gifting is not my only act of kindness in the 40 days of lent (which ends on Palm Sunday) but it is one that I feel comfortable photographing and sharing. Sometimes I do kindnesses anonymously so I can't share them here without giving myself away. Sometimes I do kindnesses that other people know about so I can share them and I do here or on Facebook. Sometimes I don't tell anyone because it's not something that I could share without sharing personal information or share something that isn't mine to tell. Kindness is also shown in my discretion.

But the lent gifting I can share because I is mine. I can show you what I'm giving away because often I don't know who it will end up with. I have no attachment to who gets it or where it goes. It is also something that I am giving up for the benefit of another person, group or community. What better Kindness can I do that giving away something every day in Lent? And tomorrow is the end for this "game". Although technically each Sunday during lent isn't counted so it really ends on the Thursday before Easter. Tomorrow is Palm Sunday and the beginning of what the Christian church calls Holy Week. The beginning of all the events that lead up to the crucifixion on Friday and the resurrection on Sunday. 

Even though lent doesn't end until Thursday most people I know give stuff up until Easter Sunday. So it's really a choice to how far you go. I will see how I go tomorrow I may even continue to give things up for charity until Easter Sunday just to push myself. I still have Heaps of stuff in my home that I Could regift. But if you are playing this gifting game too... please feel free to finish whenever you feel you want to. 

Hope this finds you well. 

Love Daena x

Lent gifting day 33

I don't know about you but Lent is flowing FAST!!! I feel like I'm only just getting the show on the road and it's almost over. Woweee. They say time flies when you are having fun! 

I'm sticking with the soft toys for now because I have so many of them. 

 

This little guy will be small enough to fit inside a shoebox. So I'll vacuum him thoroughly and then give him to a friend who collects small toys (in very good condition) and donates them in shoe boxes to kids in 3rd world countries around Christmas time. 

He was a free promotional Teddybear for a company that has since gone bust so there is no reason for me to keep it. It might bring joy and love to the life of a young person. I had a collection of soft toys that I've loved over the years so I know what one soft toy can do for the life of a child. 

So thank you to the teddy bears and fluffy penguins who I have loved over the years (I collected penguins in my younger life). Thank you for the kindness you have bestowed on me: Being there to cuddle when I was afraid of the dark or when I was scared; reminding me I am loved and am capable of love; letting me dress you up in stupid clothes; forcing you to drink/wear "tea" which may have in fact been toilet water; being there to hold when I cried. See, to a kid these seemingly inanimate objects come alive and support our younger selves in the darkest days. 

I am reminded of Toy Story 3 where Andy is able to pass his old toys onto a new generation of toy lovers. The toys are happy and Andy is happy because his toys are being loved by someone else who loves them just as much as he once did. 

Sending big fluffy cuddly hugs to all those who need it at the moment in honour of all the stuffed toys we have loved over the years. 

Love Daena 

Lent gifting day 31

Today I'm donating a book. 

 

A tiny book but a book nonetheless. It took me an hour to read so I recorded it on Litsy. I have a Litsy account which is basically an online booklist crossed with twitter. I wanted to record the books I've read and to create a wish list of books to read in the future. So many books to read. 

I wrote a short review so I'd remember what it was about. So now I can pass the book on. Books are something that give wisdom, transport you to other worlds, open your mind & can bring hope. So giving them to other people is really good.  Or at least it is in my opinion. 

I hope this finds you well & with lots of books to read! 

Much love, 

Daena 

Ps. What is your favourite book of all time? And do you have any to recommend here? X

Lent gifting day 18

The more I give away the more I find that I want to give. Has that ever happened to you? 

It is the same with kindnesses. The more kindness you bestow on others the more you want to do. It's boarderline addictive. Just with none of the bad side effects! Hehehe. 

Today's kindness and gifting is something that is still in its packet from when I got it back in 2015. This glass from Coca Cola was a freebie from McDonald's. 

 

It's been about 6 years now since I gave up coffee and coke (most strong caffeinated drinks) because of chronic stress induced insomnia. The fact I even own a coke glass is kind of funny. So donating this to someone who like the glasses or loves coke (I know a few) seems far more appropriate than me keeping it in my boxes of stuff in my cupboard. 

Have you looked at what you are using? Does it align with your current lifestyle? Does it align with your values? 

I know for me, owning a coke glass doesn't align with my lifestyle or values. So thankfully I can give it to someone who can use it and whos values and lifestyle aligns with it too. Yay for giving!!! 

 

(Check out my Pinterest board for Kindness Idea to find this quote and many other kindness inspired pictures). 

Much love to you all! 

Love Daena x

Lent gifting day 15

Simple and sweet today. 

My lent gift for today is probably highly offensive to some. And for that I am sorry. This magnet was another cheap thing that I found in the "gift box" ready to give to someone. After I bought it I realised just how UNkind it was. Even though I have a healthy dose of sarcasm and a good sense of humour, I just couldn't bring myself to give this one to anyone. 

 

I think the following picture that I (roughly) did from a Pinterest quote sums up my "gifting" perfectly (check out my Kindness Pinterest board for the original). 

 

 

I may have regretted buying the magnet but you will never regret being kind!!! Someone at the charity shop may have a different sense of humour to me. Fingers crossed it will be loved and enjoyed rather than remain hidden in my box of gifts. 

Much love,

Daena 

Lent gifting day 14

At the end of the year last year I watched Minimalism: a Documentary about the Important Things on Netflix. I learned a lot from this documentary. I thought Minimalism was all about stark bare walls and only owning a few things, or even just being about buying stuff that looked a certain way (Minimalism as in furniture or interior design). From the movie I learned that Minimalism is not just about having "less stuff" but is also about living an Intentional life. The documentary asks what can you contribute to society? Being a kindness ambassador these ideas of intentionality and contributing, more than "having less stuff", struck a cord with me. 

Living intentionally, and in my case doing kind deeds (contributing), resonated because I have been unintentionally doing kind deeds for ages. I've been doing kind deeds for my friends, family members and even the wider community but it has become so second nature to me that I've lost a lot of awareness of what I am actually doing. I have been hosting this Blog since 2011 which is One kindness a day for over 5 years. I do my kindnesses now without thinking. I feel like I've lost the intentionality of those kindnesses. Am I just going through the motions? In the beginning it was a struggle to figure out what I could do to be kind to someone else, the environment and even myself. I have created things like the Sustainable September Series to cover the environmental issues and I post kindnesses we can all do and inspiring videos and articles to Facebook regularly. But apart from that... I've kind of lost my mojo! 

It's partly because of the documentary and wanting to be more intentional that I've gone back to writing my kindnesses in a book. Recording each kindness to learn what works and what doesn't. Just because I've watched the Minimalism documentary doesn't mean I am going to become a minimalist, but I love the idea of intentionality (particularly combined with contribution)! When I was younger I was told to "try out every piece of advice (or piece of information) and see if it fits, like you would try on a shoe. If it fits with your beliefs and values then keep it, if not then discard it". This is how I decide how to live, learn and share. So if something here resonates with you, keep it... if not discard it. 

For me there were a lot of "shoes that fit" in the documentary. Particularly when it comes to consuming and using my purchasing power for good. If you saw my post on Sunday I noticed I "accidentally" bought a dress. So intentionality is becoming more and more important to me. I really want to change the way I relate to money and spend money. I want to be conscious of where I am spending my money and the companies and businesses I support. Simply put, I want to use my money to vote for the kind of future I want. A kind, environmentally friendly place where humans can come together and celebrate their differences and acknowledge their similarities and support each other through this sometimes hard thing called life. 

Side note: if I had decided to spend money on "stuff" this month, buying a dress from an opshop fits with my values and would have been okay to me if i had done it intentionally. If i'd purchased the dress in spite of my decision, consciously, I would have been okay with it. It was completely unconscious and unconsidered and that is what interested me. I have turned spending into an unconscious action when I want my spending to be deliberate. 

I've been listening to some interesting podacasts recently. I didn't really know much about podcasts last month when I discovered the app on my phone. I saw a recommendation for some on Pinterest that got me started. I have recently fallen in love with the podcasts: Optimal Living Daily; 10% Happier with Dan Harris; The Mindful Kind; Writer on the Road; TED Talks Audio; The Slow Home Podcast by Brooke McAlary; and my favourite at the moment is The Minimalists Podcast (by Josh and Ryan). I've been listening to The Minimalists back catalogue and they often speak of making a conscious choice to buy things and using our purchasing power to choose things to buy because we need them not because it is what is cool, hip, the "it thing" or cheap. I am aware that I buy things just because they are cheap not because I actually need them. Then I have this useless thing that I have to find a home for and I get overwhelmed with the stuff. I don't want to be overwhelmed. Life is hard enough without being overwhelmed too. 

Today's kindness Lent Gifting items I bought many years ago because they were cheap. I had no idea of where they would go or go whom. As a result they have NEVER been used and have sat in my "gift box" (the box of stuff I have to give to people when a celebration comes around). 

 

For years I have been hoping that the correct celebration would come around that I could give these trinkets to someone but nothing ever has. 

When I bought them (almost a decade ago) I had a very close Young Adult Church Group. Most of us have since moved on to different opportunities in different places, cities and countries. Sadly we don't often see each other. Most of us are still friends. Because of this distance, I am less and less likely to give this kind of gift to someone. Particularly that now I have a more diverse collection of friendships from all walks of life with a range of beliefs, many that differ from my own greatly. Our values are the same though and so we are friends.

I am even re-evaluating my need for a "gift box". If I don't have to keep a huge pile of "Just In Case" items that's got to be good. I can keep the presents at the store until I need them. No more keeping things I may never use or give to anyone else. Now they can go to someone who will appreciate them. They can escape my "gift box". 

I like that if I actually want to buy something for someone then it doesn't have to be cheap "stuff". I want the right thing for a person rather than giving them something they may not like or need. It also leaves me more money and time to give a person an experience rather than "a thing". I'm learning that experiences are far more valuable to me than any "thing" could be. The memories of those experiences are wonderful and take up lots less space. 

It's funny how giving away one item a day for Lent has me so introspective. For my Christian friends though, they know that that is what Lent is all about. For anyone playing along at home... how is your Lent adventure going? Have you got rid of anything that has made you reevaluate what is important to you? 

If you are just reading this for fun! Hi and welcome! I'm so grateful for you stopping here to read about my life and journey with living a kinder more intentional life. I don't expect you to live the life I live nor do I want you to do something that is against your values or beliefs. I want everyone to live lives they love and live them kindly. No matter what that looks like for you

I hope that my open conversations about my life and about how I have been living a kinder life might inspire someone to do more kind deeds for the people around them. 

Have a wonderful day. 

Love Daena 

. X

Sustainable September 2015 - Day One : And so it begins!

Hello beautiful people, 

Seeing as last year’s Sustainable September was such a success I have decided to do it again. I chose to do this for a couple of reasons:

1. I like to be KIND (in general and) to the environment as much as possible! After all we have to live on this planet for the rest of our lives and then our children have to too. So I guess it is a KINDNESS for future generations too really! 
   
   
2. It keeps me accountable to post regularly through the month of September. It is basically a month of daily blogging. Seeing as my track record this year for blogging is not as good as i would like it to be, it helps me to focus on a month. Also if I hit a day where I can't make it to the Blogger website, I have to be prepared for that. So technically this is an exercise in me getting my stuff together and being organised.YAY organisation!!! 

So this year I am going to start with some inspiration.

September 1: Watch one of the following videos on how a girl, Lauren Singer, was able to go completely waste free. She is an environmental inspiration to me!

Here is the Short video Interview, for those short on time.  

Here is the longer TED talk, for those who like more detail. 

And for those who just love videos you can watch BOTH!!! :) Doesn't Zero Waste Girl sound like an awesome super hero? She could join Captain Planet and save the world! :)

Are you interested in having a trash/rubbish free home? The website Trash Is For Tossers is from Lauren Singer and she shares here about the steps to get to the point of being as rubbish free as possible. 

I have just bought the book called Zero Waste Home by Bea Johnson. My plan is to read it as the month goes along. Hopefully we can all learn more about this idea of creating a waste free home together and help each other in achieving this. Even if it can never be completely 100% waste free, a point Bea Johnson has already made in the first chapter of her book, even the first steps make a huge difference. If you want to check it out the book here is a listing on Book Depository.

What is next for Sustainable September?

For the next few days I am going to give you a few things you can change fast and easy to help the environment. Then I will progress to other things that may take a little more effort.

I have also decided to include tiny kindness ideas for those who are wanting to share Sustainable September with other people. 

So a simple idea today is: pay it forward. If someone does something nice for you, pass it on to another. If someone buys you a coffee (preferably in a reusable cup), pass it on, and buy one for someone else. It is really as simple as it sounds. If someone buys you a book, like "Zero Waste Home" pass the kindness on - in face just give people books all of the time...okay... maybe that might not be the best kindness for everyone. Just ME!! hehehe. You all know how I feel about books! Love, love, love!

I hope this brings you a little bit of knowledge and a lot of inspiration. We need to be KIND to this planet of ours. It is the only one we have got! or as my sister says "There is no planet B"!

Much love to you all, 

Daena x

Kindness and all its problems... a rule book of sorts to maintain a healthy state of kindness!

Hello beautiful people,
It was so good to get my words on a page last week, so I am back for some more. But this time for something a little different.

One of the biggest hurdles people have when doing something like 365 days of kindness is that they burn out fast. So I have written a tiny rule book for those who are brave enough to embark on this journey for themselves. And PLEASE try doing a version of this kindness yourselves!!! It really is amazing! :)

One of the reasons that people burn out is that they forget to look after themselves. And I don't mean that they forget to eat or sleep or drink (although Im sure my family could remind me that occasionally I have done all of all these things). Sometimes people forget to be kind to themselves. I forget to be kind to myself too. Most of the time, and particularly lately, I expect too much from myself. Yes, I want to change the world, but that's not going to mean that the world changes overnight! Which is a bummer really because everything would be so much easier if it were that simple, not to mention that much faster! I have been frustrated that I couldn't help someone, or that I didn't see someone that needed help (or at least not until I was thinking about it later ), or sometimes I'm not fast enough to perform an act of kindness and I feel like I'm letting the world down. The reality is I am only ONE PERSON and I am the only one being let down, because I expect so much of myself! Yes, every kindness makes the world a better place, but every kindness you do is one more beautiful thing that exists in the world! After all that lady over there with the heavy shopping, she doesn't expect me to help her with her shopping... That guy in the wheelchair going through the door does not expect me to hold the door open for him (in fact he has become quite adept at doing it without any help), the screaming baby doesn't expect me to stop it crying by making faces at it in the shopping center and neither does the babies mum. I think that is why kindness is so important though, because we do not expect people to perform acts of kindness, that is why they are so powerful. But I need to be kinder to myself. RULE NUMBER ONE: Be Kinder to Yourself! I have started doing a kindness for myself as regularly as possible. It may be buying a new book (yes i still am a bibliophile), or getting a massage, or buying myself a "Soy Chai Latte", or it could be giving myself the morning off from caring for mum by letting myself sleep in(when she needs sleep too), or visiting someone I know will perk my mood up. Yet, it is so important to care for yourself, because if you don't look after yourself, then you will be of no use to anyone... including yourself!!!!

A second pitfall for a kind person is forgetting how blessed we really are. When you are doing things for others a lot, you can see how others live and get jealous or even "preachy" about how people should live their lives. It may seem funny that people who are being Kind all the time can be like this... but it happens. Oh boy, does it happen. I have found myself being jealous of the things I have done for others because I've begun to expect people to do the same things for me. Now this might, to the outsider, seem logical. After all you are giving, therefore you should receive! Right? But to someone who is trying to live the "kind life" its not always this simple. If you always expect the same thing from others, you will be perpetually disappointed. Not everyone is going to want to make YOU a cup of tea in the morning, carry YOUR groceries, bring in YOUR Rubbish/Garbage bin, or buy YOU lunch! After all not everyone has the same wage as you, or want to spend it the same way YOU do. Or have the same ability to brew tea, carry heavy loads or the time to bring in your garbage bin. One of the greatest ways to be a kindness ambassador is to not expect anything from anyone. This is not a rule, just a really helpful note! If you expect it you will be unsatisfied, but if you don't expect something, then it is always always a blessing when something comes your way. I like to think Karma exists, but it might not be a one-for-one deal (as in you do a kind deed and someone does exactly the same in return), and Karma almost never comes the way you want it to or expect it too.
RULE NUMBER TWO: Be grateful! When you are grateful for what you have and what you can do for others you don't have time to be jealous. 

Another problem that adds to the burn out, is that there is often the feeling that you are always giving and never receiving. Yes, we should all give generously, but that doesn't stop us from wanting kindness ourselves. When you are giving all the time it can seem that you are the only one who does this. But its not until you stop and pay attention you realize that other people are doing small kindnesses for you too. I think you all know that I write at least 10 or more things I am grateful for, that happened though out the day, every night before I go to sleep. I follow that up with my Kindness for the day. Recently I started taking account for the things other people do for me because I was so caught up with what I was doing for everyone else. I forgot to look for the things others were doing for me. RULE NUMBER THREE: Pay attention to what others do for you - add this to your blessings everyday! So I started paying attention. Whether it be your best friend who pays for a movie twice in a weekend (thanks Tanya), you sister who takes your mum for a night so you can have a night at your friends (thanks V), a friend who does your washing up after you've made a mess in their kitchen (Thanks Tanya & Kylee), or a friend who compliments you on an awesome job with a blog post (thanks Eva, Terry & Tahlienna), Or someone who gives you the opportunity to try something you have been wanting to do for ages (thanks Taylor). These are a few of my friend blessings that are from this week alone. I got stuck for a while not seeing all the amazing things my family and friends did for me, which was their kindness to me. 

One of the greatest pit falls a kindness ambassador can fall into is judging others and their worth. I have been on a few dozen kindness sites and really struggled with the reactions of some people. Sure, the best/easiest person to be kind to in the world is the ones who obviously need help, ie. Street people, those in financial struggles, the person crying at the shop, underprivileged people etc. One of the things I have noticed is the reaction people have is to those who come from wealthier parts of society. Yes they might have more money, more social status, more ability to do large acts of kindness but just because they have all this, does not mean that we should withhold kindness from them. I am not one who earns lots of money... although I make the most of what I do earn! My annual income is pretty low, yet I still find that EVERYBODY needs kindness. Sure they might not need a $50 gift card from your local supermarket, but they may need your spare change to help them get through the checkout faster. Another group that miss out, are those that are rude to us. Sure their hostility can be a warning, so be careful, but if you can safely ignore it, these people need the kindness more than ever! I once had a drive-thru lady sound rude and curt at the speaker box, others in the car commented on her manner, so i made the extra effort to be super cheery and thank her for her work and for getting our food promptly. The others in the car thought I was nuts, but she needed that! By the time we left, food in hand, she was smiling at least! It may have been because she also thought I was crazy, but if it meant the next car had a smiling server, it was exactly what I was meant to do! There is a quote that I always hear (sadly I don't know the writer) "You never know what people have been through! Everyone is fighting a hard battle".  The hardest part is that sometimes we don't even know we are judging others. So please be careful who you judge as worthy. Everyone is worthy of kindness... that is why it is so powerful and makes such a difference in the world. Not only is withholding kindness a cruelty to others but also to ourselves. We become limited in the impact we can make in the world. RULE NUMBER FOUR: Everybody Needs Kindness.


Okay, so in short my rule book is very simple:
RULE NUMBER ONE: Be Kinder to Yourself!
RULE NUMBER TWO: Be grateful!
RULE NUMBER THREE: Pay attention to what others do for you!
RULE NUMBER FOUR: Everybody Needs Kindness.  

I have been doing this project in its various forms for almost 5 years now. And I encourage anyone who wants to give "365 days of kindness" a go, to do it!!! Give it a go!! Even if you only last a week or a month, that is 7 to 31 more kindnesses in the world! And everyday you do it, that is one more kind deed out there in the world! :) Honestly, it can be hard for the first few weeks, but then you get into a pattern and realize that kindness is just a way of life. Then suddenly its 5 years later and you are doing kindnesses with joy and passion! :)

Think about it! If it is something you want to do, give me a buzz as I can help you out with a few resources! If you want them? You do not have to do a blog about it, you don't have to even keep a record! I like to keep one just to see all the things I have done! But Everyone is different! :)

I hope this helps anyone trying to live a kinder life.
With love and kindness,
Luv Daena

A few days later... Kindnesses not forgotten!

Hey my lovely people, 

Sorry I haven't posted for a few days! There has been a few problems with me uploading posts and such from my phone so I'll work to updating these things in the next week! I really am enjoying keeping up to date with my kindnesses because it's a good record/diary for me & a wonderful record for everyone else! :) 

I love this because it shows me just how simple kindness can be! I hope it continues to help inspire you too! 

Much love to you all! Thank you for your love & support! :) 

Luv Daena x