It's my birthday... 5 years of kindness

Hello my beautiful friends, 

So today is my birthday and I'm left remembering what the last 5 years have brought me! Why only the last 5 years you ask? You see the last 5 years have been such an interesting experience for me, because 5 years ago today I started what was to be a year Long project, called Project 25 -Random Acts of Kindness. It started on my 24th birthday & was to be completed by my 25th birthday! I asked people all over the world to do a kind deed and report it to me! Then I could have (for my next birthday) a book (I'm a bibliophile after all) of all these awesome things people had done because I'd asked them to do it! And I was going to participate too! :) 

I wanted a 1000 kindnesses over the space of a year! 

What I got was...36! 

Okay so it didn't quite go to plan, but I learnt something so profound that I decided to give it a go. I learnt that if I wanted people to do a kindness, I had to do it too! I had to show them that they weren't alone, that I wasn't just asking them to do something I wasn't prepared to do myself! I had to lead by example! 

So I decided when the new year came around i would start this whole thing a fresh and show people just how simple, easy and yet life changing kindness could be! And this is how 365days of kindness begun! And the way I was going to show people how easy this could be was by doing a kind deed a day and blogging about it! 

I am the first to admit I am not a "regular blogger"! And by that I mean, I write everyday for two weeks and then not again for a few months. I'm as unpredictable as a busy woman trying to hold onto a scrap of sanity (perfect description for this year in particular). But you have stuck in there and supported me. People from all over the world have started following me, on this blog! whether they started following me by accident or on purpose I'll never know, but i am grateful for your encouragement and support! I'm not perfect, or regular in my blogging but I have shared photos, stories, friends, family, inspirations, books, cakes, weddings, celebrations, links, blogs and videos with you all in my attempt to tell you what kindness means to me! 

Life has not been easy, and I know there are people out there who are struggling with a thousand times worse problems than I have! That's why kindnes is so important. We can share the loss, sadness, grief, but also the hope, love and gentleness we have found in friends and strangers who have helped us & given us kindness in our hardest and even in our best times! 

I want to acknowledge a few people, the original supporters! The few who had followed me from day one, (mainly because I originally brow beat you in to it! Lol) And they are... my family! 

To my mum who I most definitely wouldn't be here without! She spent 26weeks in the hospital trying not to have me! She survived with a semblance of sanity after those 26 weeks of bed rest away from the rest of her family so I could be born! And Even then I wasn't a well baby! And she's been working pretty hard to keep me alive ever since! This is a woman who believes all mums should get the presents on the child's birthday because they put all the effort in on the day the child celebrates! And after all the effort she put in to making me a reality... Well...I definitely agree! mum, about the present, I'll see what I can do for you! ;) lol! Thanks for encouraging me and pointing out those kindnesses I don't see sometimes! :) You are one of the strongest women I know & you are beautiful! :) thank you for all your hard work, your love and support! :) 

My sister, who was one of the first people to do a kindness for the original project, and who continues her support today with the Facebook page! She is a gem! Another tough woman who is filled with a strong sense of justice and a willingness to make the world a better place! Thanks for being an encourager and a champion for this world! Thanks babe! 

My dad, who is no longer with us, would listen as I read out my blogs and dutifully flip through the pages of my kindness albums (even when he wasn't too sure what was going on)! Thanks for being a great role model and leading by example! You were always there to help anyone who needed it! Thanks dad! Miss you! 

My brother in law... One of the best men I know! Thanks for supporting all of us. And agreeing with V to let me stay so I has somewhere to go when my life was falling apart! Thanks for being strong for your wife and your kids through some really hard times! For leading by example and doing lots of "extracurricular activities" to support your kids! :) thanks for being a rock! Us gals, we ain't easy to be around! But you've done a great job! :) 

My niece & nephew continually teach me what kindness is! They have placed such trust in me as a "good role model" for them! Thank you for reminding me to have fun & "bounce", for sharing in kindnesses, nerdiness & books! And for loving me even when I'm grumpy or I tell you off! You really are great kids! :) don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise! 

To my "adopted" family who have and continue to encourage & support me in both my kindnesses & in my day to day "ordinary life": Tanya, Isaac, Eva, Liam, Taylor, Laura, Jamie, Big D, Ben, Lisa, Bobbie, Sandie, Terry, Paulene, Bev, Judy, Faye, Sarah, Dino, Autumn, Bel, Cat, Lance, Kayleigh, Matthew, Lorraine, Chris... And I know there are so many more! Please forgive me if I haven't names you specifically (it's 2.30am my brain isn't working at it's optimum). But please know I am so very grateful to you all for you love, support and encouragement! 

Who would have thought a little idea 5 years ago would have been so successful! Maybe not every one has taken up doing a kindness a day... But imagine if they did?! There would be so many lives changed and more lives altered for the better! :) even if everyone did an intentional kind act this week? it won't make any real difference to me, but to a stranger their lives will be a little lighter and a little better for a little while! And that's all we can ever hope to do! 

Hope you all enjoy my 29th birthday with me and that you bring a smile to someone's face, today in particular! :) it's a good day to be kind! 

Much love to you all 

<3 Daena x

Kindness and all its problems... a rule book of sorts to maintain a healthy state of kindness!

Hello beautiful people,
It was so good to get my words on a page last week, so I am back for some more. But this time for something a little different.

One of the biggest hurdles people have when doing something like 365 days of kindness is that they burn out fast. So I have written a tiny rule book for those who are brave enough to embark on this journey for themselves. And PLEASE try doing a version of this kindness yourselves!!! It really is amazing! :)

One of the reasons that people burn out is that they forget to look after themselves. And I don't mean that they forget to eat or sleep or drink (although Im sure my family could remind me that occasionally I have done all of all these things). Sometimes people forget to be kind to themselves. I forget to be kind to myself too. Most of the time, and particularly lately, I expect too much from myself. Yes, I want to change the world, but that's not going to mean that the world changes overnight! Which is a bummer really because everything would be so much easier if it were that simple, not to mention that much faster! I have been frustrated that I couldn't help someone, or that I didn't see someone that needed help (or at least not until I was thinking about it later ), or sometimes I'm not fast enough to perform an act of kindness and I feel like I'm letting the world down. The reality is I am only ONE PERSON and I am the only one being let down, because I expect so much of myself! Yes, every kindness makes the world a better place, but every kindness you do is one more beautiful thing that exists in the world! After all that lady over there with the heavy shopping, she doesn't expect me to help her with her shopping... That guy in the wheelchair going through the door does not expect me to hold the door open for him (in fact he has become quite adept at doing it without any help), the screaming baby doesn't expect me to stop it crying by making faces at it in the shopping center and neither does the babies mum. I think that is why kindness is so important though, because we do not expect people to perform acts of kindness, that is why they are so powerful. But I need to be kinder to myself. RULE NUMBER ONE: Be Kinder to Yourself! I have started doing a kindness for myself as regularly as possible. It may be buying a new book (yes i still am a bibliophile), or getting a massage, or buying myself a "Soy Chai Latte", or it could be giving myself the morning off from caring for mum by letting myself sleep in(when she needs sleep too), or visiting someone I know will perk my mood up. Yet, it is so important to care for yourself, because if you don't look after yourself, then you will be of no use to anyone... including yourself!!!!

A second pitfall for a kind person is forgetting how blessed we really are. When you are doing things for others a lot, you can see how others live and get jealous or even "preachy" about how people should live their lives. It may seem funny that people who are being Kind all the time can be like this... but it happens. Oh boy, does it happen. I have found myself being jealous of the things I have done for others because I've begun to expect people to do the same things for me. Now this might, to the outsider, seem logical. After all you are giving, therefore you should receive! Right? But to someone who is trying to live the "kind life" its not always this simple. If you always expect the same thing from others, you will be perpetually disappointed. Not everyone is going to want to make YOU a cup of tea in the morning, carry YOUR groceries, bring in YOUR Rubbish/Garbage bin, or buy YOU lunch! After all not everyone has the same wage as you, or want to spend it the same way YOU do. Or have the same ability to brew tea, carry heavy loads or the time to bring in your garbage bin. One of the greatest ways to be a kindness ambassador is to not expect anything from anyone. This is not a rule, just a really helpful note! If you expect it you will be unsatisfied, but if you don't expect something, then it is always always a blessing when something comes your way. I like to think Karma exists, but it might not be a one-for-one deal (as in you do a kind deed and someone does exactly the same in return), and Karma almost never comes the way you want it to or expect it too.
RULE NUMBER TWO: Be grateful! When you are grateful for what you have and what you can do for others you don't have time to be jealous. 

Another problem that adds to the burn out, is that there is often the feeling that you are always giving and never receiving. Yes, we should all give generously, but that doesn't stop us from wanting kindness ourselves. When you are giving all the time it can seem that you are the only one who does this. But its not until you stop and pay attention you realize that other people are doing small kindnesses for you too. I think you all know that I write at least 10 or more things I am grateful for, that happened though out the day, every night before I go to sleep. I follow that up with my Kindness for the day. Recently I started taking account for the things other people do for me because I was so caught up with what I was doing for everyone else. I forgot to look for the things others were doing for me. RULE NUMBER THREE: Pay attention to what others do for you - add this to your blessings everyday! So I started paying attention. Whether it be your best friend who pays for a movie twice in a weekend (thanks Tanya), you sister who takes your mum for a night so you can have a night at your friends (thanks V), a friend who does your washing up after you've made a mess in their kitchen (Thanks Tanya & Kylee), or a friend who compliments you on an awesome job with a blog post (thanks Eva, Terry & Tahlienna), Or someone who gives you the opportunity to try something you have been wanting to do for ages (thanks Taylor). These are a few of my friend blessings that are from this week alone. I got stuck for a while not seeing all the amazing things my family and friends did for me, which was their kindness to me. 

One of the greatest pit falls a kindness ambassador can fall into is judging others and their worth. I have been on a few dozen kindness sites and really struggled with the reactions of some people. Sure, the best/easiest person to be kind to in the world is the ones who obviously need help, ie. Street people, those in financial struggles, the person crying at the shop, underprivileged people etc. One of the things I have noticed is the reaction people have is to those who come from wealthier parts of society. Yes they might have more money, more social status, more ability to do large acts of kindness but just because they have all this, does not mean that we should withhold kindness from them. I am not one who earns lots of money... although I make the most of what I do earn! My annual income is pretty low, yet I still find that EVERYBODY needs kindness. Sure they might not need a $50 gift card from your local supermarket, but they may need your spare change to help them get through the checkout faster. Another group that miss out, are those that are rude to us. Sure their hostility can be a warning, so be careful, but if you can safely ignore it, these people need the kindness more than ever! I once had a drive-thru lady sound rude and curt at the speaker box, others in the car commented on her manner, so i made the extra effort to be super cheery and thank her for her work and for getting our food promptly. The others in the car thought I was nuts, but she needed that! By the time we left, food in hand, she was smiling at least! It may have been because she also thought I was crazy, but if it meant the next car had a smiling server, it was exactly what I was meant to do! There is a quote that I always hear (sadly I don't know the writer) "You never know what people have been through! Everyone is fighting a hard battle".  The hardest part is that sometimes we don't even know we are judging others. So please be careful who you judge as worthy. Everyone is worthy of kindness... that is why it is so powerful and makes such a difference in the world. Not only is withholding kindness a cruelty to others but also to ourselves. We become limited in the impact we can make in the world. RULE NUMBER FOUR: Everybody Needs Kindness.


Okay, so in short my rule book is very simple:
RULE NUMBER ONE: Be Kinder to Yourself!
RULE NUMBER TWO: Be grateful!
RULE NUMBER THREE: Pay attention to what others do for you!
RULE NUMBER FOUR: Everybody Needs Kindness.  

I have been doing this project in its various forms for almost 5 years now. And I encourage anyone who wants to give "365 days of kindness" a go, to do it!!! Give it a go!! Even if you only last a week or a month, that is 7 to 31 more kindnesses in the world! And everyday you do it, that is one more kind deed out there in the world! :) Honestly, it can be hard for the first few weeks, but then you get into a pattern and realize that kindness is just a way of life. Then suddenly its 5 years later and you are doing kindnesses with joy and passion! :)

Think about it! If it is something you want to do, give me a buzz as I can help you out with a few resources! If you want them? You do not have to do a blog about it, you don't have to even keep a record! I like to keep one just to see all the things I have done! But Everyone is different! :)

I hope this helps anyone trying to live a kinder life.
With love and kindness,
Luv Daena

And you thought things couldnt get any crazier...

Hello my beautiful people!

So its just over 3 months since my father passed away. Tomorrow would have been my dads 76th birthday, had he been alive to celebrate it with us. He was a man I will marvel at and cherish in my heart for the rest of my existence.

In the last 3 months its been some kind of crazy. And you thought having a funeral for your dad 3 days before your best friends wedding was full on? Well it got even more wild and dangerous here. 3 days after the wedding my mum went in for a mammogram, 5 days later she was asked to come in to discuss their findings only to discover she had breast cancer. So they gave us a date for the surgery about two weeks later. Mum was hoping she had time to get her head together, but they called a few days later to move the surgery closer. They had gotten the pathology back and the cancer was aggressive... small but aggressive.

So she went into surgery and had a double mastectomy... one breast with cancer one without! They took both because we have a stupidly high number of cases of breast cancer in the family.  We don't know if we have the genes yet... so only then can we (my sister and i) make choices about our own health and long term physical well being.

What I found most amazing was that after having such a radical surgery she was home within 24 hours!!!! Seems crazy right? but its actually because people are more likely to heal in their home environment away from "Sick people" at hospital. She is immuno compromised so she could catch anything at the moment. So it makes sense... just seems weird! lol

So for the first 6 days we had nurses visit daily to check the drains, and eventually (and disturbingly to me) remove them. I don't do blood & bodily fluids well... and that was too much for this little princess to cope with. I was not born to be a doctor or a nurse! Kudos to those of you out there who are!!! You are an amazing group of people.

A HUGE thank you to all those amazing Doctors, surgeons, staff, nurses (both at the hospital and visiting), physios and councilors at the hospital who were just absolutely amazing with my mum and with a pair of very concerned "kids".

My sister and I learned so much about ourselves and about our friends and family. Thank you to all those people who sent us notes, emails, texts, cards, flowers, food, support, love, thinking of you's... they made so much of a difference to us. We are so grateful for all of you! Thank you!

Mums health and recovery has not been simple, by any means. Ive learned some things I never knew before existed with breast cancer "Cording" & "seromas" just to name a few.  But we have got the amazing news that she is cancer free and does not need Chemo or Radio therapy. We are so blessed that they found the cancer so early and were able to remove it before it did some serious systemic damage. Really we are totally grateful... after all I couldn't have lost my mum and my dad in the same year. I think that might literally have killed me.

And through it all my mum has been grieving for my dad. But you wouldn't believe how strong she is. Sure she cried a lot(and continues to on occasion) , but you would too if you had lost your husband and survived breast cancer all in the same month. She is stronger than she thinks she is and I am so proud of everything she has achieved and done for us through all of it. I love you mum! So does Vandra! We are proud of you for just keeping on going... because sometimes that is the hardest part!

One of my favorite quotes, and forgive me for not knowing who said it, but it seems adequate here...
"Women are like tea bags. You don't know how strong they are until you put them in hot water."

 I have had some added complications too with my own health because about now you were expecting this story to be over... after all how much can one family bare?
 *Be warned gentlemen & Squeamish ladies this is a bit gynecological... so i totally understand if you want to skip this next paragraph entirely...*

So the surgery I had last year, to burn some of the Endometriosis off my uterus, was then a success but now my own uterus has decided to fight back. in other words they are pretty sure the Endometriosis is back (WAY SOONER than expected) less than 10 months after the surgery. So the doctor has told me that I need to think about having kids sooner rather than later, because in 5 years or after, with the deterioration of my uterus and the damage the Endometriosis is doing, I might not be able to have kids. So that sucks a bit because I don't even have a boyfriend, let alone a fiance or husband. And I always hoped I would not have kids on my own. My family have been beautiful and have said that if i want to have babies on my own they would support me! Thank you my beautiful people! I'm still not sure a lifetime of commitment (to a baby/child/teen/etc) would be the best way to cure a gynecological issue.

But i am clinging to the hope that my best friend has been beating me with... she has told me of a work colleague who had the same condition and was told the same thing at around the same age as i am now (28)  and who is now 38 and just having a baby! Thanks Tanya... it means so much that you keep giving me hope! Hope... its amazing how it can make such a difference!!!

But wait there is more... we have had 5 funerals in the 3 months. Some anticipated, some not. I have decided I am now getting pretty good at the whole funeral thing. I just hate that I have to loose acquaintances, friends and loved ones to prove I can survive these sometimes funny, sometimes sad, sometimes tragic events. I send great love to everyone who has lost someone dear to them... no matter when. It is not an easy thing.... my deepest condolences.

Would you believe that one of the things that has been getting me through this is the love and support  I have received from this community, and the positive actions people have taken and the small kindnesses we have witnessed through these last few months.

My sister who took on a role as an administrator on the Facebook page whilst I was on my Round the World adventure, has been so supportive in everything I have done. From the first day I decided to try make this project work (in its original form) to now and, I am sure, well into the future, she has encouraged and supported me. Even whilst we have both been grieving and struggling and doing our best to just keep moving forward. Thank you beautiful!

My brother-in-law who has been a quietly strong rock that we have all leaned on at one stage or another this last few months. He looks after his wife (my sister) with love and compassion. And yet he grieves too. After all he was mates with my dad for the 17 years that Vandra and her hubby have been together. And probably a few years before that too. Thanks for all the support Glen. Your energy and enthusiasm with your extracurricular commitments, your kindness to mum, and your quiet words of encouragement really make a difference to me.

Oh the kids. The bringers of light, love and endless joy (ok... and the occasional tantrum)! From my niece being able to walk around with a spoon on her nose (which is Soooooo Epic!!!!) to my nephew calling me to tell me he had his Plate out this afternoon. I love being there for you, and I am so proud of the awesome little people you have become. I love you so much! and thanks for telling me you love me too, even when it might not be "Cool"! Thanks you beautiful ones!!!!


Our family seems to have gone through hell this year. We have been broken into a million pieces and scattered to the wind, only to find that our friends and some family have been catching our fragile pieces and slowly putting us back together. It might not be exactly the same as it was before. But somehow with all the glue and scotch tape used to put us back together we are coming out stronger than before. And that is a blessing.

Thank you to everyone... whether you read this tonight or tomorrow or in 50 years time. YOU are totally and utterly appreciated!!!!!!!

Oh and as for kindnesses... they might not be as exciting as some, after all i am earning my keep as a carer at the moment, but i am still doing them. Every single day! As promised! I hope you are acting with kindness too! :)

with great love to you all...
Luv Daena xxxx

A wedding & a funeral...

Hi everyone, 

So I've just had one of the busiest and most challenging couple of weeks of my life. Filled with the highest highs and the lowest lows! 

I have been talking for a while about preparing for hens nights, kitchen teas & my best friends wedding. So I have been very busy preparing all of that, and making sure that each event came off without a hitch! Which, thankfully, it did! :)

(Minion themed Hens party photo)

I have also been busy fulfilling roles as sister and "the best Aunty ever" for my sister & nieces birthdays also! 

But there was one thing I had not prepared myself for...

My dad, Victor passed away on the 19th of Feb after a long and complicated illness with Cerebral Amyloid Angiopathy! His death was both tragedy and blessing! He doesn't suffer any more, but we all miss him dearly! 

(Photo of the flower the staff laid on my dads chest after he passed away... Such a beautiful & simple gesture.. A wonderfully touching kindness)

Dad died exactly between my sister and nieces birthdays (who are exactly a week a part) and a week and a half before my best friend Tanya's wedding to her now husband Isaac! So not only were we coming to terms with the loss of my dad but we still had a 6 year olds birthday and a wedding to get through too! And then chuck in a funeral and you can begin to understand what my life was like last week! 

Dads funeral was beautiful! It was everything he asked for and we could have hoped for! So, I just want to say thank you to everyone who made it to dads funeral! It made a huge difference to see people we haven't seen in years, people who have come from all over the state & those who have been there for us through it all! No matter who you are and how often we see you now, thank you for making dads funeral such a special event for us and a beautiful way to celebrate the life of an extraordinary man!

Also, Thank you to all those people who sent cards, condolences, love and flowers to us this last couple of weeks! It has helped my family & I in our grief, to know others are thinking of and sending their love to us! 

I know I am still coming to terms with the fact my dad isn't just down the road for me to chat to when I want. And I keep waiting for it to really hit me... But I guess having the wedding to focus on after the funeral was what I needed because I haven't had a chance yet to wallow in my sorrow. 

For those who wanted to know how Tanya & Isaacs wedding went... It was amazing! Tanya got me in a dress, high-heels, makeup & fancy hair, which I have to say is an achievement in itself! :) 

(Photo curtesy of: Kye Ellen)

I was completely overwhelmed with the love they have for each other & their friends & family! And the love that they & their friends & family bestowed on me! I gave my obligatory maid of honour speech and after a few jokes, shared a bit about who these amazing people are for me...their love, support & generosity!  And Included what they did for me during dads funeral, where both of them played a supportive role! And doing this all just days before their own wedding! I am so blessed to have these two people in my life! 

(Photo curtesy of Kye Ellen)

I wish Mr & Mrs Mead all the happiness in the world! 

(Photo Curtesy of Linda H ) 

Please excuse me whilst I may not post for a while... It does not mean I have given up my kindnesses! In fact I see their importance now, so much more than before! I am, after all, the legacy of my father, & he was such an amazing man! Dad & my mum taught me about kindness, generosity & compassion and I have a deep need & responsibility to share those things with others! 

I hope you are all well! I send my love to you all! Thanks for hanging in there with my blog! 

Much love, 

Daena x

January 28, 2012

Hello hello, 

Well the 28th was an amazing day for me! I got so much done! Most of my work was related to the upcoming Kitchen Tea party for my best friend! 

I went to 3 second hand shops looking for tea pots, cups & saucers, sugar bowls, milk jugs, and pretty plates for the "English garden party morning tea in the high tea style" that I have been preparing for in two weeks time (or there abouts)! 

So I went to the 3 charity op-shops & bought something at each one! Ending up with an amazing array of kitchen tea party wares for $50... Check this out.... 

Or in more detail...

Mum taught me how to stack & pack four cups & saucers into each other so they don't take up as much space! Very grateful for that lesson! Thanks mum!!! 

I also donated a box of books to the first charity shop we went to because they had been sitting in the boot of the car for about a week! :) 

There is still so much to do for these parties... But I just love having the ability to share something! Sadly I can't share much of my preparation about the hens party because I want all those details to be a surprise for my best friend! After all I know she reads this blog from time to time! Hi TJ! :) xxx 

What is the most exciting thing you have found at an op-shop/thrift store/2nd hand shop? 

Luv Daena

January 27, 2014

Hey lovelies, 

on the 27th I got to work preparing & planning more stuff for my best friends kitchen tea & hens party. Spent an hour and a half having a planning meeting with the mother of the bride. 

This is a photo of my book of secrets for my best friends pre-wedding parties! :) 

I did some cleaning at my sisters house, because they are away. I also fed my niece & nephews fish & chickens! :) 

I also helped another friend by drying dishes after dinner & desert at her house! 

I hope you are all doing well! 

Much love, 

Daena x

A few days later... Kindnesses not forgotten!

Hey my lovely people, 

Sorry I haven't posted for a few days! There has been a few problems with me uploading posts and such from my phone so I'll work to updating these things in the next week! I really am enjoying keeping up to date with my kindnesses because it's a good record/diary for me & a wonderful record for everyone else! :) 

I love this because it shows me just how simple kindness can be! I hope it continues to help inspire you too! 

Much love to you all! Thank you for your love & support! :) 

Luv Daena x