Looking after yourself: how to fill and empty cup

I wanted to start a new year positively with a kindness post a week. So here is to week 2! How fast has this last few weeks gone? Seriously?! 

This last week has been interesting work wise and exciting in my private life. 

I’ve been working on a couple of different archaeological sites this week. Plus I’ve helping another “new to the company” woman learn the ropes. Which has been both fulfilling and encouraging because I’m still relatively new myself so I find myself learning right along side this lovely lady. 

As for my personal life... well my boyfriend and I today celebrated the fact we survived 6 months together as a couple. Miracles happen. Lol. Whilst I make jokes, he has really looked after me and welcomed me into his family. I spent all of my time with him and his family over Christmas. They all welcomed me in with open arms which is nice because I was so far away from my own family. He has had to learn the hard way how to care for me when I’m not well and how to deal with me when I’m tired, grumpy and inevitably emotional. He’s also had to deal with my quirks and weird sense of humour. I really appreciate this man and his support and encouragement! Thanks G!

Kindness wise I’ve been doing all kinds of things. For instance I brought cheap (reduced to £0.05 per pack of 6) Fruit mince pies to work. I can’t eat them (they are neither Celiac friendly OR AIP friendly) but I thought they would bring a smile to the faces of my colleagues. It did. 

I’ve also smiled at people, complimented some, expressed gratitude for people and things that came my way, baked goodies to share, did a couple odd jobs for people, even made some much needed hot beverages for those I’ve spent time with. I even bought a mate a drink at the pub on Friday night. 

I also did some things to look after myself. Or alternatively put...Be Kind to myself!!!

I had a bath, Meditated (I love the Insight Timer App), Read a book (one of many I got for Christmas), Made a yummy meal and Baked yummy food even I can enjoy. 

I have a list now of things I like to do to help me improve my mood and be kind to myself. After all they do say you cannot give from an empty cup. 

Maybe you can take some “Sunday Ideas” from this list above. Or you could make your own! I keep this list in my journal which I have with me all the time.

What do you like doing that fills your cup up? 

What thing do you do that helps you to be kind to others? 

Wishing you all a great weekend. 

Love Daena x

The first post of 2019 - A Call to Kindness

I bet you have been wondering what has taken me so long? Or if I’ve forgotten what kindness is? No! Absolutely Not! 

The truth is that would be impossible. 

This past year I’ve been working full time and I decided to be thoughtful about what I wanted to share on my blog.

There are a few things that I’ve stuck to in recent years that may continue this year like Sustainable September (but also may not depending on what this year actually brings). 

I am acknowledging my inconsistency with blogging too. I’m not perfect but I’m constantly improving.  Kindness is still so important to me that I keep coming back to it again and again. 

2018 brought with it some HUGE changes for me.  I moved between 3 countries, from Australia to Wales to England. I got 2 jobs (one which I had to leave in order to pursue the other). I moved to 2 new houses in two different counties. I also got myself a new boyfriend (well he’s not so new now... but the first I’ve had in a long time). It brought with it a change in my life circumstances all of which has made my life both easier and harder to bring kindness to peoples lives. 

It’s easier now as I am exposed to a diverse range of people on a daily basis, not many of whom know much about my kindness mission. This makes it quite fun to surprise people with thoughtfulness. 

It can be harder because Archaeology as a career is more often than not back-breaking manual labour. Even though I love it, it wears me out a lot and I come home exhausted regularly. 

However that hasn’t stopped me being kind... 

2019 had already brought with it kindness and encouragement from others for me. 

I’ve continued to joyfully worked to bring a smile to the faces of people I work with, live with and know. 

I wanted to start this year by reminding you that kindness is easy!  AND you can start a year of kindness at any time (even 5 days after New Year like today). If you want to do it don’t let anything stop you, least of all the date. 

So this is a call to kindness if you want to join me. It doesn’t have to be hard. 

For example: 

If you break it down to a weekly kindness schedule : 

Monday’s: smile at a stranger/compliment someone. A compliment could be about their outfit, their adorable pet, their lovely smile, or their ability to keep coming to work everyday when you know they have stuff going on at home or when they are dealing with chronic pain/illness (I have a few friends whose lives are crazy and yet they still show up for me when I need them). 

Tuesday’s: make or buy a hot/cold beverage for someone. it can be offering to get someone a glass of water or remembering and buying them that Double Dirty Chai latte with Coconut Milk they drink on a regular basis. The price or effort is up to you. 

Wednesday’s: take a treat into work to share... it’s hump day on Wednesday and everyone will appreciate a mid-week pick me up (I have been doing this at work - and mostly involved me baking yummy treated on a Tuesday night but this week I took some fruit mince pies in to work (I can’t eat them but they had a packet of 6 fruit mince pies on reduction for £0.05 per back so I grabbed two to make the day more enjoyable for everyone. I got to be kind they got to eat yummy things). If you don’t work regular days etc, make or do something special for your family or friends on a Wednesday if you want to stick to this plan. 

Thursday’s: write a thank you to someone for something good they have done for you. This can be as public as a Facebook post acknowledging their gifts and why you love them so. Or as private as writing them an anonymous hand written note to thank them for generally being a good person. 

Friday’s: do a job or chore for someone else. This can be offering to empty the bin at work or emptying the dishwasher when it’s your housemates/partners turn. It could be raking the leaves for your neighbour, helping them move snow in winter, watering gardens/plants in summer or just checking on an elderly family member/friend/neighbour. 

Saturday’s: Connect with someone you’ve been meaning to contact but keep forgetting to/putting it off. Simply sending a message to a friend or family member that says “I’ve been thinking of you recently, how are things? Hope you are well!” Or writing a letter or email to catch a friend or family member up on all they have been missing in your life. It could be calling someone for a coffee date or organising to go to the movies together. Or it could be sending a care package to a friend in another country (this has made a huge and amazing kindness for me when family and friends have sent stuff my way! 😊). 

Sunday’s: do something to be kind to yourself! This can be having a bath, Reading a book you’ve been wanting to read or even making your favourite tea/coffee/ chocolate/hot Carob drink and taking 5 minutes to sit and enjoy it in silence (yes parents - I know that’s a lot to ask but I hope for your sake you kids sleep sometime!). 

Other things you can do to spice up your kindnesses: 

When it’s someone birthday just send them a message to let them know you know they were born on this day and how special that is to you. If it’s YOUR birthday send a message to your mother (after all she did all the work of growing you inside her for up to 9 months) or a person who has been a mum/parent figure to you to thank them for helping you and keeping you alive this long! Or for teaching you the resilience you needed to stay alive on your own! 

Anytime it’s a special holiday (E.g.  Christmas just gone, Valentine’s, Easter, Hanukkah, Diwali, any festive card giving holiday etc) when you are sending a card, write one thing you are grateful for about that person. It can be hard sometimes but if you think about it, there is a reason you are going to the effort of sending/giving them a card why not make it extra special. 

Do you love books? Do you have a couple extra dollars to make someone’s day? Put some cash (I recommend notes as coins can cause damage to a book) with a post-it note in your favourite book/s at a book shop to contribute to the next person, who opens the book, to purchase it! 

Appreciate the work of those around you like Posties (postmen and women), ambulance workers, Firey’s (fire department workers), nurses, doctors, managers, street cleaners, cleaners in general, garbage men/women, service men and women, retail staff, regular delivery drivers etc. you could always thank them for their work by writing to their work places/ managers to compliment their work or contact these people directly by giving them a thank you note/card. Gratitude is by far one of the nicest and simplest kindnesses around and you can do it verbally or in written form. 

One idea for office workers: 

I like leaving one of our staff little compliments and encouragements at random places in her Post-It Note pad. She knows who does it, but if you were less obvious than I am... You could make it anonymous! Note: I do try to be sneaky but she’s very clever! 

Extra info: 

There are so many ideas if the weekly kindness plan doesn’t work for you! You can check out FB, Instagram, Pinterest, Google and so many places for kindness ideas. 

I am not the first and I won’t be the last to choose to do a kind deed a day. I REALLY WANT people to take this on... it really has changed MY life for the better. And I hope it works for you too! :) 

Here is to another year of kindness. 

Much love to you all, 

Daena x

Sustainable September 2018 Day 30

I cant believe its over! 30 days of September have flown past! I have been celebrating and exploring Reading,UK today on foot with my boyfriend G. 

(Watching the swans being fed by the locals whom the swans and ducks love). 

(We found this amazing old steam board that had been converted into a function room on the shade of an amazing pub!) 

We have been having a great day exploring new places and seeing what this city has to offer.

As today is the last day of Sustainable September I am going to leave you with the best advice I can.

Day 30. Be kind to yourself.

I have had to learn this one myself. We are often our own harshest critic. I have personally had to learn not to be afraid of making mistakes.

Failure is going to happen, but don’t beat yourself up about it too much. Everyone is at different stages of this Sustainable journey. As much as I love the idea of a Zero Waste lifestyle, I know it is not 100% possible.

If we all aim for a low impact life, there is not so much pressure with that label. It gives you permission to make mistakes. Because realistically we all make mistakes.

I live by the motto: When I know better, I will do better and until then I will do my best. 

Thank you to everyone who joined me for sustainable September this year. It has meant a lot to me to have your encouragement and support. 

Thank you all so much. 

Love Daena

Sustainable September 2018 Day 29

Today is my mums birthday. A day that I, sadly, won’t be with her to celebrate. 

However it is also somewhat of a milestone for me. I celebrated the end of the fourth week of work at my job as an archaeologist, a job that mum has always supported me in pursuing. 

My mum has been an amazing influence throughout my life, encouraging me and supporting me to do and be the best I could be. All despite some of the harder things we’ve been through. Which brings me to the Sustainable September idea for...

Day 29. Educate yourself 

This seems silly to almost finish off with but as we are coming to the end of Sustainable September, it seems important to include it.

Learning skills you haven’t learned before, that can help you reduce, reuse, recycle, rot or even refuse things coming into your house, can make a huge difference.

If it is learning how to make fruit jam from left over cheap fruits from the local supermarket that would otherwise end up in landfill, or learning how to make a worm farm, from learning how to sew a button, or learning how to reupholster a chair (that project is still in Australia for me to finish another time), it may cost a small amount upfront but the skills you learn in the long-term will make up for it.

The saying goes… “If you give a man a fish, you can feed him for a day. But if you teach a man to fish… you can get rid of him for the whole weekend!” wait… no… that’s not it! Hehehe.  “If you give a man a fish, you can feed him for a day. But if you teach a man to fish he can feed himself for a lifetime.”

This also means learning and watching through TV, media, documentaries, podcasts etc. 

I’ve learned so much from podcasts and documentaries over the last few years. It’s been really educational. 

I hope you are enjoying the last few days of Sustainable September! 

Much love to you all, 

Daena x

Sustainable September 2018 Day 28

I can’t believe how fast this month has flown by! It’s unbelievable! After today there are only two more days! Two until the end of Sustainable September! I thought I would talk about something that I’ve been making every morning before work and consuming on my walk to work. And that’s ... Tea!!!. But I make it simple and take it in a travel mug which is what today’s idea is all about! 

Day 28. Use a reusable Coffee/Tea Cup 

This is great when it comes to going to coffee shops as you can save yourself a few cents/pence anytime you buy a cup of tea or coffee take away.

Using reusables is also much better for the environment.

I have also been using mine everyday as I walk from my house to the office in the mornings

As the mornings get colder and I need a cup of something to keep me warm. 

It turns out that a warm/hot cup to take with me as I leave home is also a great hand-warmer as I walk to work every morning.

I know the first few time going to a coffee shop you might forget but its an opportunity to take that time to sit in and enjoy a ceramic mug instead.

If you are a cafe owner and are looking for ideas, you can always do like this little cafe in Australia has done ... ban single use coffee cups, and provide an option for those who forget.

I hope this helps, enjoy the clips from both UK and Australian War on Waste.

As it comes to colder weather, you could do simple kindnesses, like Suspended coffees or even giving homeless a couple dollars for a hot drink, a coffee card for a local cafe, or even inviting someone to join you for a cup or tea or coffee.

Enjoy, 

Love Daena x

Sustainable September 2018 Day 27

Ive been suffering with a bad headache for the last day or so and have been drinking a lot of water... which had me thinking about the importance of water to us and the environment. So todays, Sustainable September idea is...

Day 27. Save water

There are several ways you can do this.

One is by not leaving the tap running whilst you are brushing your teeth.

Another is by installing a low flow shower head. This can change the pressure but saves you a packet in water bills.

You can also take shorter showers, use a brick in older toilet cisterns so that it doesn’t use as much water to flush, and install two button flush systems.

Saving water can save you a lot of money, but also give the environment a helping hand. This is because in places like Australia water is a precious resource, and we wouldn’t want to waste it. Or end up like parts of south Africa who earlier this year were on water rations.

And just to folow up from that, here is a quick timeline of events for the Capetown water crisis.

Anyway, I thought this was particularly interesting.

I Hope you have a great day.
Be kind to one another.
Love Daena

Sustainable September 2018 Day 26

It’s been really cold the last few mornings here in Reading, England! Getting down as cold as 2*C. I know that it will get much colder in weeks and months to come but this little Aussie is already struggling with the temperature changes. That’s the problem with having two summers in a row (Australian then Welsh/English)! 
This next Sustainable September idea is completely unrelated to anything... but is one of the best changes I made to living a more sustainable life. Gents, you can sit this one out... or read through for a great kindness idea you can do...

Day 26. Use Reusable Feminine hygiene 

This can be reusable pads, a diva cup or even reusable period panties.

I have to admit I was a little reluctant, a few years ago, about how this would be so successful for me. I decided to give the Diva Cup (a menstrual cup) a go, supplemented by the reusable pads from two amazing Australian suppliers Scarlet Eve & Little Aussie Monster.

My menstrual cup is THE BEST thing I have ever had gifted to me (it was a Christmas gift from my sister). I love the fact that it only needs to be changed every 12 hours (instead of every 6 hours with a tampon) and that I can change the cup either in the bathroom (preferable with a sink right next to the toilet) or in the shower (which is my preferred method). This means I shower twice a day on my period, which is probably not a bad habit to not feel as icky anyways. When I take out my menstrual I can see how heavy my period is, as the side of the Diva cup has measurements. It is a great thing to take note of for your own records because knowing this can help your gynaecologists know how much blood you’ve lost and if its more or less than usual.

The other great thing about the Menstrual cup, is that because it holds so much blood I don’t need to wear my reusable pad for more than the first 3 days. I am one of the many who have seven day periods, so not having to wear pads for 4 of those days is bloody awesome! And I wouldn’t have to wear the pads at all if I changed the Diva cup more regularly during the first three days, but I’m too lazy to do that. Lol. So I am happy with my combination of reusable pads and diva cup.

I won’t comment here on Period Panties but I know that there are several available that are a reusable period alternative to pads, tampons or even a diva cup. I’ll leave this review for another time. In the meantime I am really happy with the system I have for managing my periods! 

I also know that this has saved me a fortune already. I have had my diva cup for almost 2 years now (Christmas is its birthday) and even though I didn’t purchase it, I know it cost about $50AUD (£25) and it can last for up to 10 years. The pads I bought cost about $50 in total too and whilst this might seem like a lot of money, it has totally been worth it. I would easily spend $10(£5) a month (pre-reusables) and I would buy a combination of Tampons and Pads each month. Sometimes I would even buy more than one pack depending on how heavy my bleeding was.

After 10 months these reusables have paid for themselves. When Christmas comes around I would have saved $140 ‘above and beyond’ the cost that I was paying for my feminine hygiene. Best investment ever. 

Lads, I know some of you are thinkin that this is not something that YOU can do much about... and you are probably right, however being open to sharing some ideas with the ladies in your life, would make a massive difference to them. And if you partner, sister, mother, aunt, cousin, friend or coworker is struggling at that time of the month, do something nice for them. Its the best kindness a girl can ask for, havng the support of someone they know and care about. I wish you all the best with this idea.

I hope this finds you all well!
Love Daena