A thing can remind us of a memory or a person. We can feel guilty about parting with it because it was a gift for/from a friend or family member. Sometimes it is a gift from someone who has now gone. I know I have a few things from my dad still that I struggle to think about parting with. What I need to remember is that my dad is not in that stuff. Sure he used it or loved it when he was alive but keeping it will not bring him back to life. I know in my heart dad is with me always no matter what I keep or don't keep! I also know that he wouldn't want me to be held back by "stuff".
I must admit though that I am not yet emotionally prepared to go through all of it and get rid of the majority of that stuff. I only want to keep the things I adore and bring me joy rather than every little thing that was his. So today's lent gifting is actually two things that were my dad's... two little model cars.
My dad always wanted a red E-type Jaguar (car) and we never could afford to buy him one or a kit/parts to build one. So when we would ask my dad what he would like for his birthday or Christmas he would always say "a red E-type Jag" and then he would laugh because he knew it was not possible. So a couple times we decided to get him one... just in miniature. After all he never clarified a size! And we could all laugh together. A joke between us all.
I have never used these two red cars and I used to get angry with the kids for playing with them because I didn't want them to ruin dad's dream. But his dream was never these cars at all but a Life Size Jag. Sadly his dream of this kind of car died, long before he did, with the onslaught of his brain disease.
These little cars were intended for use with kids. They were marketed to kids. We used them for our own benefit to make him laugh which they did. But they have long since been forgotten for their purpose of bringing joy to kids or to my dad. He's been gone for 3 years now. He didn't laugh much in the last year or two of his life. So these little cars have been sitting in a box not bringing joy or laughter to anyone for at least 5 years.
I think it is time to say goodbye to these cars. I am grateful for the joy and laughter they did bring to my dad and my family when they were bought so long ago. I am grateful now that they will bring happiness to some other child or family in the future.
I remember my dad not for the stuff he owned but for the love he gave me and the lessons he taught me. People are always more important than things. Laughter is the best medicine. Be kind to everyone you meet. He was always so supportive and generous with his time and his ability to listen (& talk). He was not perfect but he always did the best he could with what information and resources he had. I miss him. I love him still. But getting rid of two little matchbox cars isn't going to change any of that. He is with me always!!!
Sending love to you all,
❤ Daena Guest
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